I've come to that place where I have to accept I am once again in survival mode. No longer am I nursing a baby, with three other little ones hanging on my legs. Now, I'm managing three kid's homework assignments, soccer club, basketball games, doctor's appointments, Christmas programs, special choir, drama rehearsal, and discipleship groups. I'm trying to keep the house at a point where the clutter isn't a safety hazard and the dirt isn't a health hazard. I'm trying to get at least six hours of sleep a night, and I'm working full time. This will be the year that I buy the pre-packaged cookie dough with candy canes stamped on it.

A friend and I were reflecting tonight (over a salted caramel hot chocolate at Starbucks) about some of the things God has taken me through this year. He has been refining and refining and refining. He has removed me from position and leadership and sent me to another desert place. He has caused me to prove that the truth I've known in my heart and written out on paper is really liveable. That God really is the initiator of our relationship with Him - that the relationship really is more important than spiritual activity - that a mom really can thrive in her relationship with God when everyone else is speaking for her time.

Life now happens in 10 minute increments: 10 minutes in the Word, 10 minute lunch breaks, 10 minute exercise sessions, 10 minutes to drill spelling words, 10 minutes to throw dinner in the crockpot. I'm learning that if something is going to take more than 10 minutes, I better not even try to take it on.

Which brings me to my new exercise routine. Bill has started P90X. Yes, he plans to be buff. He wanted me to do it with him, but I just couldn't imagine where I'd find an hour a day to do ANYTHING else! Instead of going on without me, though, he surprised me with the 10 Minute Trainer!! It is just my kind of thing! So now, I will work out 20 minutes a day - yes, 10 minutes at a time! It is only 20 minutes, but 20 minutes I wasn't doing before.

I can't tell you how much more energized I feel with just a little exercise. I sleep better, don't wake up hurting everyday (which was getting really annoying), and am overall more motivated to make healthy choices just because I know I'm working at something. So last night Bill and I did our before photos. No, I won't be posting them. Talk about embarrassing. I am currently at the heaviest I have ever been (not pregnant). Something about new medication combined with sitting 40 hours a week while my boys are in school as opposed to constantly having someone to chase, has been a bad combination for this girl. What is even worse is when you measure as big or bigger than your big strong man at almost every measurement point. Yikes!

So, yeah, I'm ready to start some better habits. I've been much more consciensious about my eating and the meals I'm preparing. I guess it is a good year to not have time for Christmas baking!

In other news, I took the boys to a Living Nativity last Sunday night while Bill was working. It was so cool! The boys got to have a real experience of walking through Bethlehem, petting goats, seeing the market, etc. Riley about got kissed by a camel. It was a great way to start the season with the kids.

Riley and Ian have both done their Christmas performance at school. It was SO good. I wish I knew how to post video to You tube, because Riley was quite the little dancer. :D Clayton's drama/choir program is Friday, and Hayden's program is next Tuesday. We have three free nights before Christmas!

I was looking over some verses in my 3x5 spiral last night while waiting for an appointment and ran across this one: "I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me." Psalm 57:2 This verse has become a favorite. When I'm tempted to be frustrated over a book with no more publishing proposals ready or a half started web-site with no time to work on, I keep reminding myself Who is responsible to fulfill the purposes God laid out for me. "God, it is Your book." "God it is Your Glory. It is Your Kingdom. It is Your purpose."

The other interesting part of that verse is the meaing of "fulfills." The Hebrew word there means: to bring to an end, fail, fulfill. It is interesting that there is quite a bit of negative conotation to those words: fail, bring to an end. So often God has to bring us to our end, to allow us to fail, to end what we know in order to bring His purposes to fulfillment. It has given me a bit to chew on today.