Sometimes I feel like my whole life is just page after page of "real mom moments." In fact, I'm amazed whenever I get a hint that someone thinks I'm some kind of a superstar and have my act together. I'm such a screw up! I don't mean that in the sense that I really need to see how much Jesus loves me or something. I mean, I'm just a real person - a very real person that makes a zillion mistakes a day. One thing I totally enjoy is having MOPS moms to the house. After about 15 minutes of watching my kids run from one end of the house to the other, screaming, and hitting each other over the head with various household objects, they very assuredly say, "I'm so glad to see that these things happen at your house." LOL! You bet they happen at my house! In fact, I often tell other moms, "I exist to make others feel better about themselves."

So today I was thinking that I really should get Bill to help me unload the 55 gallon rubbermaid tub from the truck - the tub filled with my auction day leftovers, purchases, and freebies. I had driven home after MOPS Tuesday, worrying about it sliding around in the back, as there were some breakables, and laughing to myself about the pink princess shower curtain that I'm going to sneakily put up in the boys bathroom while they're sleeping some night. Today, Bill and the boys assured me that there was no such tub in the back of the truck. They had loaded and unloaded snowboards and sleds to go to Cherry Hill. Bill had loaded and unloaded tools to help a friend with a tile job today. I really believed they were all just being blind. How can you miss a 55 gallon tub. But alas, it was not there. Then I thought for sure that it must have been stolen from the back of the truck while Bill had it parked at the mall yesterday, since his camper shell doesn't lock. I was really miffed because 1/2 of my Christmas shopping was in that tub. Well, o.k. I've only bought two things, but one of them was in the tub. However, Bill called from church tonight and informed me that the tub was in the church lobby and had been since Tuesday (which amazes me in and of itself because there are way too many people in and out of that lobby to ignore a tub of that size and not do something about it). Apparently, I NEVER loaded it! Good grief!

Ian has been making a book about his family. Yesterday we talked about the jobs people in our family have. He decided (among a few other things) that Daddy's job was to work at the mall. Mommy's job is to pick up things.:P Clayton's job is to clean his room. His job was to comb his hair with his own comb, and Hayden's job was to play. Here are a few things about Ian for his book.

If I had three wishes....to have a big flying ship that we can all take rides in, to have a dirt bike with everything on it - even a kickstand, to have a garge on our house that you get to from the door. (Apparently, the male need for a garage starts young)

One thing I do well is....fighting.

I want to be better at......karate.

It makes me angry when....Hayden cries when we're trying to go to sleep.

Something I would like to see....mom with blue eye shadow, brown finger nails, pink toenails, and red lips.

The happiest day of my life was when...I haven't had one yet (poor child).

Tonight while discussing the story of Noah and the Ark, Ian was amazed at the thought that there had not been rain before the flood. "Well, they could have made rain!" he said. "How?" I asked "They could have gotten water in a bowl and thrown it up in the air." Then he proceeded to draw an ark with animals in it. "Ian, what kind of animals are in your ark?" "Birds, rats, and ghost-es."

I'm really not adjusting well to our new, chaotic schedule. I've been trying to do better at making breakfast, since that's the only meal we're all home for now. But if I stay up until Bill gets home so we have a minute, and focus on breakfast in the morning, I don't get a shower until afternoon. I can't seem to figure this out. Tonight was his first night home for dinner in awhile. I made a nice one, and thought the crockpot was so pretty, I had to take a picture.



I also just figured out today that the photo card from my phone *does* work in my computer, so I will be posting more pictures. Duh! In fact, here are a few, just because. :D







Last night after a very long day - well few days, I put my feet in a tub of hot water and soaked while I immersed myself in God's Word. I studied the life of Asa in 2 Chronicles 15-16. I was struck with 15:17 "Although he did not remove the high places from Israel, Asa's heart was fully committed to the Lord all his life." That verse stood out to me when I looked back over things because Asa doesn't end his life well. He began to trust in what his money could do, to buy support, instead of trusting God. A seer came to him and said, "You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war." (16:9) He was so angry at the messenger, that he had him thrown in prison and "brutally oppressed some of the people." (16:10) He gets a terrible disease and only seeks medical help without seeking the Lord. Yet God's Word says, "Asa's heart was fully committed to the Lord all his life." I think it helps me see over and over again how our hearts can be committed fully to the Lord, but we are still screw ups! We can still veer just a little off course, but head a horrible direction.

Sometimes it feels that is where we are now. Bill and I set out with really big plans last spring. We were passionate about things God had called us too. We tried desperately to walk in obedience no matter how silly or scary things felt to us or looked to others. We lost some relationships. We endured some persecution. We've had our share of rough knocks. We've messed up. We've made mistakes. We've won victories, and we've broken bondages. For every bondage we've broken, we've uncovered another. Looking at our lives now, it seems like we've accomplished nothing we've set out to do. It appears we are farther from our goals, that our lives are way too stressful, that we are even broker than we were to began with, that our relationships are struggling. There is some truth to those things. But, the bigger truth is that God is stirring up things that have always needed stirred up. He is digging deeper than He's ever dug. He's making us intensely uncomfortable and forcing us to deal. with. stuff!

I personally, tend to get very impatient with the process. I'm a lion/captian/type A personality. Our motto is: "Just do it!" I like to get things done and see results. I live for accomplishment, and judge my value by what I've accomplished. But in reading "Boundaries in Marriage", something jumped off the page at me.

Adjust to Reality Both Jerry and Genie had to reorganize their life. They had to give up some of their ambitious plans for a while until their problems were better. Their original plan had included two fully functioning people, and they did not have that, at least for a while. So they agreed to cut back on what they wanted until they got to a better place.

Wow! That is totally where we are at. Our hopes and dreams haven't changed much, but truth is, there is much stress in taking a leap of faith. Financial burdens, uncertainties, stress of relationships, etc. takes a toll on a person, a marriage, a family. So! Right now it feels like all we are doing is working on things. Working on being whole as individuals, working on breaking bondages, working on repacing lies with truth, working on our marriage, working on the health of our children, working on getting out of debt, working on building stability, working on our faith. Very few of those things produce immediate or even tangible results. But we know that God is at work in us. It is obvious. Painful. But obvious. We are still two people whose hearts are fully committed to the Lord. We may have veered off course, howbeit unintentional; but we are still fully committed and willing to step back to work on the "us" before we work any more on the "what." Sigh.

I was deeply encouraged by a friend a few weeks ago as I expressed sorrow over broken relationships with some who didn't understand some of the steps we took over the spring and summer. I feel as I did back in the days of my depression as I prayed Psalm 69:6 "May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me, O Lord, The Lord Almighty; may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O God of Israel." My friend exhorted me that Bill and I were doing just what God said to do. We were "working out our faith." God's Word challenges us to excerise our faith - to work it out. The individual things we did, whether right or wrong, aren't the biggest issue -but our willingness to "work out our faith" (with fear and trembling, I might add). That is so true. We are working out our faith, and I pray that others watching will not focus on our individual actions, hoping for a three step plan of how (or how not) to follow God -but see that we are "working out our faith."

In the midst of all of that, we are adjusting to Bill's new schedule, and I am looking for work -something I never thought I'd be doing at this point in life. But, barring any miracles, it is a necessity - not for Christmas money or extra fun. But just to make it while Bill's new job begins to build and be all we hope it will be. I can't imagine life getting anymore hectic. Try adding two parents working opposite schedules and passing off the four kids. Honestly, I'm at peace - not terribly excited. But I'm at peace - and grateful for so much. Grateful for the strengthening of our marriage. Grateful for the internal work God is doing. Though I stare at half-written book proposals with heavy sighs, really believing God didn't create me entirely to make coffee or clean up after others, I can only rest in the truth of God's Word. Last night, with my feet soaking and Darlene Zschech singing to me, "Your love is Better Than Life," God gave me Psalm 57:2. "I cry out (summon, call out, invite you to be a guest) to God Most High (El Elyon), to God, who fulfills his purpose for me." Praise God! I know I can trust you!

My Beloved

I would really encourage you to click into Kari Jobe's music on the right side of my blog and listen to "My Beloved." Let it wash over you like a love song from your Savior straight to You. Oh, He loves you!...then you can just let her music play on because it's all good!

God has been doing a new thing in my life. I've been overwhelmed and amazed at the gifts the Father has been extending to me through His body. I'll share more in a minute, but I want to catch you up to where my mind is going.

Many of you have asked about the process of publishing and where my book is at. Very few publishers (in fact I've only found one) accept a proposal directly. Most publishers use a writer's agency to look for new works and refer you to the agency they use. Every agency has their own proposal requirements. Some want a certain word count. Some want specific chapters. They all have slightly different elements to the questions they ask. But everyone wants to know some basic things. Who you are as an author, what are your qualifications, why would anyone read a book you wrote, how do you propose we market this, why is your book different enough than everything else on the market that it deserves to be printed, etc - and they all charge a fee. MOPS, Int'l publishes 4-5 books a year, so it is a tight market. You either have exactly what they want that year, or you don't. They *do* let you submit directly to them at no cost. So that is where I started. It was an experience. They said they would give an answer in 8-12 weeks. They waited 24. They were very complimentary to my ideas, but it just wasn't what they were looking for this time. Part of me thinks they knew that 24 weeks ago, and could have simply looked at my format and said that 24 weeks ago. But, that is the industry.

So now it is back to writing more proposals. It is really torturous...especially for me as a homeschooled, GED'd, no college qualifications individual to fill in the "education" blank. Then to stare at "qualifications" and know that really, my best ones are life experience - living what I'm encouraging others to find. How do you tell someone, "Look, you just need to listen to me. I really have found out something here!" I can throw in a title here and there, but really, the truth is: I really am a nobody - an unpublished, hopeful looking for a chance.

One of my greatest encouragements in life has always been:

2 Corinthians 3:1-3 "Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."

It seems my whole life I've been a little short on the credential end of things. My parents chose a completely non-traditional route for our family when I was young, focusing on 2 Corinthians 3, which is truth - but even the Christian community wants credentials. I was never allowed to serve with our denominational mission board as a young adult because I lacked college credits. I wasn't going to even be permitted to be assigned with my husband as his wife (not even having a title myself) because I lacked college credits. My home church paid college student after college student to come for the summer and work with the youth. The year they asked me to serve, it was for free. I cleaned houses to pay my own way. Then there are the times you are overlooked simply because you are a woman married to the one who is really getting paid to do the work. The bottom line is, I have this feeling deep down that my ministry, work, and efforts have never been validated with the title or paycheck that they may have merited. I've missed out on opportunities because I was simply not given the chance. My credentials really are the lives that speak, those who have walked beside me. All of that makes selling myself seem like a mountainous task.

So this week when a new friend told me that she feels God has asked her to make me her ministry at this point in life, I was overwhelmed. We've began praying together on a regular basis. It's great to have someone live close to me. When she called and asked if I could drop my kids off for a couple of hours, so I could start attacking a new propsal in silence, I was speachless. You see, without a laptop, I have to write at home. It's not like I can run off to Starbucks and write. I need my computer, my resources all right here. Everyone else must leave. :D I don't have grandparents in town or friends who live close who can sike themselves up for four boys during the day. So my friend and her husband loved on my kids and I started a new battle *er* proposal this week. It is just a start, but I'm grateful.

On the phone this week, I was talking with one of our mentor moms for MOPS, brainstorming how to best use them and make their ministry full. She suggested that maybe she was supposed to be mentoring me. Well! There's an idea! So we plan to get together one on one soon.

Then another friend walked into MOPS last week with the impression she was supposed to love on me that day. She brought me Starbucks. It sounds silly and simple. But there is nothing simple about carrying a baby on your front; leading a toddler behind; carrying a diaper bag, a bag of auction items, and a gift; and juggling two coffees. That is the life of a MOPS mom. I mentioned carrying a gift because the coffe wasn't her only gift to me. She knew I was trying to switch over to Mary Kay, and she used to be a consultant. She was bringing some auction items, but she also brought me a bag full of makeup and goodies because she remembered how hard it was to not have money and wish you could make yourself pretty and not be able to do anything about it. (Don't worry, Cassie, no skincare. You're still my consultant. :D) I can't tell you what that meant to me. It wasn't just stuff. It was my colors, and items specific to what I was wishing for - like getting rid of age spots on my hands. Only God can do that. He used my friend, but I see it as a direct gift from Him.

If that wasn't enough, another mom who lives close (and who God first miraculously connected me with a year ago at Mc Donalds!) called and asked if maybe we could start swapping babysitting for each other one night a week, so we could each have a date night. For real! A weekly date night? Man! Can it get any better?

I could go on, but I'm just really grateful for the body of Christ. I was thinking this week about how men are turned on by a woman's body -just the sight of it. God is turned on by His body - the body of Christ. It is beautiful to Him, just the sight of it....and I'm more deeply falling in love with the things He is falling in love with.

O.K..'nough of that. Now for a little humor.

Riley: "Mom! I think I just hatched an idea."

Riley: "Mom if a queen has a baby girl, it is a princess, right?"
Me: "Yes"
Riley: "Well, if she has two baby girls are they both princesses?"
Me: "Yes"
Riley: "That's not right!"

Editors note: My boys are sick of princesses. Ian's literature has been full of them, our own Christian radio station has been advertizing Disney on Ice which is all about princess and showing up early to be a princess for the night or something(what's up with that anyway?), and now Stephen Curtis (I believe?) has a new song out about dancing with Cinderella (which I think is precious, but my boys just can't believe it!). Anyway....There new little joke with each other is singing some Barbie song: "I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world. It's fantastic, even though I'm plastic!"

Ian: "Mom, my hand is really warm. Perhaps it is too warm." (Perhaps?! Where did that come from)

Mommy Moment: I was enjoying me new body scrub and wash in the shower yesterday - really feeling like a queen. I even shaved. AFter getting out of the shower though, I was hit with reality. Yes, I still have the last coat of summer polish 1/3 left on my toenails; and yes, I really did somehow forget to shave half of one of my legs!

Today
Today is perfect. Well, for me anyway. Bill had to leave for work at 6 a.m., and I don't think he feels that is perfect. Funny how schedules in retail change. Bill had every other day off last week. His new schedule has him working from Friday to Wednesday. This week, he will do some tile for a friend on his days off and then head back to work. At least his schedule is consistent from now to after Christmas, which means I may be calling Starbucks to see if I can help dig us out of this h.o.l.e.

But today, I woke up to a four year old crawling under the covers to snuggle. To me the day always begins the night before anyway. So dancing to Nora Jones in the candlelight with my beloved last night makes today start really well. The boys have done their chores and are busy sketching all their ideas of how to rearrange the living room. The task was too daunting to me, so it has been fun watching their minds work and how they draw things out - and what they forget. Like Ian worrying that the t.v. might fall out the window with his design, and Clayton forgetting about the Christmas tree (the whole purpose for rearranging). O.K. Time to go put their drawings to work!

Thanksgiving "Pre" and "Post"

Pre
The day before Thanksgiving is that wonderful time when your kitchen looks like a war zone, you run sixteen sinks full of dishwater, and you learn wonderful new ways to work of the calories. Turkey lifting for the biceps, running up and down the stairs to the deep freeze for the legs, peeling butternut squash for the forearms...let me just tell you, I've figured out why I've never found a skin care product with butternut extract in it. It will turn your skin into sandpaper in minutes. I think I will affectionately call it sponge squash - or leach squash from now on.

The Day
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I hope you did to. I was pretty bummed in the beginning about not making it to Oregon with my parents and brothers. However, a little reflection brought some things home to me. Thanksgiving wasn't originally a family event. It was a gathering of those who had survived the year to thank God for preserving them and providing for them. I learned this week that the very first gathering was more like a last meal for the doomed than a feast. It was eating up what was left and assuming they'd die like the rest. Then, William Bradford abolished the socialist form of government they'd been operating on (everyone turning in their crops to a common bank) and opened a free market. Then the men were motivated to work. They realized they could really get somewhere from their efforts. Ah! Freedom! The next harvest, after the free market was introduced, was the first official Thanksgiving - a feast of plenty. There are so many applications here. But let's just say that it was a privilege to spend this Thanksgiving with friends who have trudged through the hard year with us, who have prayed with us, watch us break chains and find freedom. It was a joy to celebrate with those who have survived the year with us and thank God for what He has done, and what He is still going to do. Thank you God!

Memorable moment:
Every Thanksgiving needs something to be remembered by. My favorite childhood one was when Grandpa Lawrence and Granny Pat dressed as pilgrims and made Indian feather headbands for all us grandkids. My favorite young adult one was coming home from Russia and being overwhelmed at the amount of food available to us for one meal, when so many others in the world are starving. Another favorite was a year of hardship and transition for my cousin and I when we took our kids to the space center for the day and went to Cracker Barrel for different - totally against tradition.

This year, we started a fire. The broiling of the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes started a kitchen blaze - which Riley spotted first! When it was done, there was baking soda all over the sweet potatoes, stove, floor, turkey, you name it! We scraped off the sweet potatoes and ate them anyway. The turkey was mostly fine, and we had a lot of good laughs with friends.

Post
The day after Thanksgiving is that wonderful time when your kitchen looks like a war zone, you run sixteen sinks full of dishwater, and you learn wonderful new ways...hey! This sounds familiar. This year, I opted to run to one store at 9 a.m. for one sale item. We haven't thought about Christmas much, and I just couldn't make myself join the hubub. Instead, I've been catching up laundry, cleaning, and thinking through the whole "where to put the couch to use the fireplace and set up a tree" scenario....then off to church tonight where I will meet my husband fresh from his first year in retail on the day after Thanksgiving!

Kid funnies:
This week I was loading the truck for MOPS, Ian and Hayden in tow. I heard Hayden say, "I'm gonna be GOD!" Then Ian, "and I'm Jesus." I wondered what on earth they were talking about, finished situating stuff in the truck and turned to see them wondering dramatically through the smoke from the tailpipe, as they repeated, "I'm God." "I'm Jesus."

Reflection
I wanted to share with you the article my dad wrote for his church newsletter because it's just good. :D

William Scofield has a Thanksgiving message from Psalm 66 called THANKSGIVING IN THREE TENSES.
1st, we need to thank God for yesterday. In Psalm 66:5-6 the Psalmist thanks God for His past works like creation and His faithfulness to Israel. What past works of God in your life do you need to thank God for? How about the family God has put you in, His salvation, His protection and provision, the benefits of church, etc.?
2nd, we need to thank God for today. In Psalm 66:8-9, the Psalmist admonishes God's people to "let the sound of His praises be heard." God keeps us alive and does not allow our feet to slip. We have the opportunity today to praise God for His faithfulness, grace, mercy, love, forgiveness, and guidance. You cannot relive yesterday, but you can make today count and your praises ring.
3rd, we need to thank God for tomorrow. In Psalm 66:4, the Psalmist looks forward to the day when all the earth will worship and praise God. The story of your life is not finished. God is in control and will continue to perfect you until the day of Christ Jesus. Your future is a as bright as the promises of God. Praise God that you are not where you once were, and will not be where you are now. Praise God for the future.
We have much to praise God for. At least that is the way I see it from where I sit. Press On. Pastor Dan

What in the world?

Today didn't go quite like I'd hoped. We had all planned to go to Post Falls, take Ian to a party, drop a truck load off at the Thrift Store, and hang out until Ian was done. Bill took the van to work because it gets better gas mileage, so we headed off for our day of adventure. However, the truck wipers kept quitting. Now, mind you, we just got the van wipers fixed. The truck however, we have to stop and open the hood and bang on the little box to get them going again. No huge deal. Except it happened three times in a mile, and I soon realized I would never make it to Post Falls, and would probably put us all in danger if I attempted to get on on the interstate. So alas, we headed back home. Uncle Jonathan came to rescue Ian's party transportation, and we spent the afternoon at home in the gloomy, dark, rainyness.

Also this week, someone left a blue crayon in their pocket, ruining an entire load of clothes in the dryer. I have been given some hopeful instructions from Mom, the laundry doctor, and may be able to rescue some of it if I have a spare day to work on them!

All in all, it has been a great weak, though. Again, lots of encouraging ministry times, meetings, prayer and coffee and tea with friends. My friend Kjirstine enlightened me to the idea of using my french press to brew loose tea and introduced me to white tea...something flavored with white chocolate and vanilla. It was delic!

God has blessed me with two people this week that feel called to come alongside and pray for me and lift me up. One is an older woman, and one a Barnabas runner. I'm so excited, and grateful, and feeling blessed, and overwhelmed, and in awe of a God Who loves me so much that He would call others to minister specifically to me. Amazing!

Who are you, and what have you done with our kids?

This morning we were awakened suddenly by the sound of the dishwasher being emptied. We lay there quietly for a minute, wondering if someone had broken into our house. But in a flash, three well-dressed boys entered our room asking what their chores were. We knew instantly that something was drastically wrong and rushed upstairs to check the locks on the doors, certain that our children had been kidnapped and replaced with way too helpful robot-like, clone droids. O.K. Maybe too much Star Wars going on around here. But it was eventful, none the less.

Riley asked me last week if I was around in the 1700's.

I've had a hard time getting into Thanksgiving this year. My whole family is gathering in Oregon, but Bill works until 9:00 Wednesday night and again at 6:00 Friday morning. SO, we won't be going. There was no way I was cooking all by myself for five men (four little, one big), who have no interest in helping and will turn up their noses to most everything but the rolls and canned cranberry sauce. But thank goodness for MOPS, because MOPS friends can even save Thanksgiving. Three of us moms who all had the same sentiments about slaving in the kitchen for those who are more interested in football and making the world's larget beanbag towers, are banding together to create a memorable event. We will also probably be inviting some others who God has brought into our lives and have great need. So, even though I'm truly thankful for so much, I'm finally feeling like celebrating a day called Thanksgiving.

Hayden is Four!

Today is Hayden's fourth birthday. Last night we celebrated by having dinner and cake with family. The cake is from Episode 3 of Star Wars...something about hot lava. I don't know. I've not seen it, and I don't think all those characters were in that scene, but it is what came in the box. The important instructions from Hayden were to include Obi-wan and light sabors.

A couple of funnies from the day....When asked what he wanted for birthday dinner, he requested pizza AND chicken. Strange request, but I made both. When it was time to eat, I asked him what he wanted on his plate, "I'll just have salad," he said. :D

We gave him a green sled which Bill wore on his head and told him it was a hat. When we gave it to him, he put it on his head too. :D

I promise to post pictures soon, but blogspot seems to be having problems tonight. sigh.

Another other random thought....
Water is best when enjoyed from a glass - not a plastic cup, not a mug, but a glass.

Random Tidbits

I've spent my evening watching the Democratic Fundraising Dinner (well, inbetween rocking a child with a boo boo on his hand, a little "Charlotte's Web", hide and seek tag, etc.). I find that I am way out of the loop on current events. I personally don't believe that Repbulicans have a strong enough candidate to undo the frustrations with the current administrations. I don't really claim to be a die-hard republican. I really believe in voting for the canidate....I have my own personal favorite, but I'm not sure he really has a chance. Yes, I said *he*, so that gives one small hint. But I feel it is good to see what we're up against. We are up against strong voices with the world's strong sense of reason.

I really wish children's shoes would come with a special tag that says, "These laces can be replaced with 36" laces, etc. I'm so tired of buying the wrong size since the charts on the packages are NOT intended for children's shoes.

I came out of Walmart last night and saw a replica of the 1980's model, white, LTD station wagon that I began my driving career in. It made me smile.

Sometimes we do things over and over just because we've always done them that way, and there really is no reason...like the family who had the tradition of cutting the end off the ham before baking. The husband asked his wife one day why she always did that and she said that it was just the way her mom always did it, but she wasn't sure why. She called her mom and asked her why she always cut the end off the ham. Her mom gave pretty much the same answer, "Well, my mom always did. I don't really know why, but her ham was always good." Next time the family was together, the woman and her mother approached grandma. "Why *did* you always cut the end off your ham before you baked it?" "Well," Grandma replied "I never had a pan big enough to fit the whole ham in."

But sometimes we do things over and over because there is a purpose. Last night I forgot that purpose. I have a shopping routing. Walk into Walmart, grab a cart, walk straight to the back of the grocery section, and work my way to the front. For whatever random reason, last night I decided to start in the front. Maybe I was just tired. It didn't take long before I realized that I was going to have to shop really fast if I was going to finish before my frozen foods thawed out....and then there was the matter of always moving the bananas off the bottom and back to the top. Yes, cereal boxes and cheese blocks make much better foundational items in the cart.

When I was working in Chicago, I had a wonderful boss. He engrained so much in me about always looking for how to do things better, faster, cheaper, etc. There seemed to always be a way to improve. I'll be forever grateful for that instilled mindset. Now I continuously find myself evaluating what I do, what I lead others to do. How can we make things better? Is there a die-hard purpose in the way we do it now? Sometimes there is, and it is best left alone....and sometimes you just need a bigger pan for your ham!

This week has been full and wonderfull. It's been one of those weeks where you find yourself running crazy, not sure when you'll be able to breathe. But it has been balanced with great fellowship, coffee, friends, finished schoolwork, birthday preparations, and the opportunity to bear witness of God's work in my life.

Tuesday, I had the opportunity to share a video with my MOPS group that I made regarding my own journey through Post Partum Depression. When we went to Arkansas this summer, I retraced some steps with a video camera and very openly described my struggle and what God has taught me since. It is healing to confess, and it brings healing to others. God is faithful to His Word. James 5:16 speaks of confessing our sins to each other and pray for each other so we can be healed. This is one of those interesting times in Scripture where the NIV just blows it. King James is actually more accurate by using the word "fault" instead of "sin." But even then, it doesn't do it justice. The Greek word translated "sin" here isn't the same one that most of the New Testament uses for "sin" (hamartano-to miss the mark, err, trespass, not share in the prize). The word used in James 5:16 is paraptoma - a side-slip, lapse or deviation, untintenional error or willful transgression, fall, fault, offence, sin, trespass. Sometimes we need to just confess our faults, our lapses, deviation from what is right, our unintentional errors. Confession invites accountability. It invites people to pray over us. It invites healing. It invites others to identify and feel safe to share their own faults and be healed too. It is fun to be a part of that kind of confession.

Wednesday brought a hopsital visit to a friend and her baby, and a date with my seven year-old son. Thursday was a good catch-up around the house day. I cleaned our bedroom and hung lights I've been meaning to hang for a year. We were reminded at "A Weekend to Remember" the importance of the master bedroom being an enjoyable place and not just a "catch-all" laundry room, etc. Boy, we're guilty!

Friday brought coffee with a new friend and prayer together, coffee and cookie decorating with Dawn and her boys in the afternoon. The boys all jumped in the leaf pile and cut out their own pod racers out of cookie dough. It was a mess, but fun. Then a surprise call to do the storytelling for BreakOut, and a great worship service. Friday was also Bill's first day at his new job, and he came home with surprise paycheck that we weren't expecting from hours in October. Coincidently (*cough* whatever!), it was the same amount I'd just spent on groceries and birthday stuff. God is great!

Today a friend trying to revive her Mary Kay business came and did a makeover for me. I proved to be the longest makeover in history. She insists it was the fellowship that made it long and not the challenge of my face. LOL! We had a great time. I'll post pics when I get them from her.

So anyway, it was one of those weeks where you knew that you had actually been productive- not just in getting things done, but in growth, in meeting needs, being in fellowship. Very full!

Tonight, I'm off to make a Star Wars lava cake from Episode 3, complete with Obi-Wan and light saber. :D

Kid sayings - Ian: "You have to seek where you sook last time!"

I just need to take a minute to brag on my kids.

Clayton is getting funnier everyday. He is thriving in school. It is great to see him come home with so much to talk about and share. It almost seems he just needed to get out of the house, like a sahm who is trapped in the house 24/7. I can sympathize with that. He really seems to enjoy his break, own identity, and more responsibility. He is starting to look so grown up. He's getting really picky about clothes and the way he looks. His typical day's attire is jeans, layered shirt, black and gray knit beanie with his blond curls sticking out, and his bright green and yellow skate shoes. We were going somewhere together a few weeks ago. I noticed that he had a nice, green kool-aid mustache; but I decided not to tell him. I decided that something about him needed to say, "I'm only 10." Clayton's current book series is the mysteries by Brian Jacques.

Riley is such a little cheerleader. Today I went to visit a friend at the hospital whose baby had surgery today. He was so worried and really wanted to come with me. He really identifies with any kid in the hospital now. He came and was so interested in the baby, asking hundreds of questions and sharing his experience with the family. If it weren't for him, I'd have never found my way back to the van. I forgot to take the slip off the wall that reminds you which floor you parked on. Luckily, Riley is very visual and was certain which color the floor was. Of course that wasn't a choice, and we discovered we were in the wrong garage altogether. He was right. The floor WAS yellow! ....and what other seven year old stops playing at the Carl's Jr. playground to thank the young lady sweeping the floor for making the restaurant such a fun place. Sigh. Riley's favorite books right now are I Spy, Where's Waldo, and any other "look for this in the picture" kind of books. I asked him tonight what he wanted to be when he grew up. He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I know I don't want to be a robber." Then he said, "I want to work at Krispy Kreme!" He also informed me that his favorite part of his Friday night discipleship program was wrestling. Somehow I don't think that is a sanctioned activity. Riley also decided this week that taking the trash down to the road was so not worth it that he was willing to give his bike to his brother to have his brother do it. We'll see what he is begging to do for his brother in the spring to get his bike back.

Ian is a total crack up as usual. When I left for the evening, he was attacking a piece of black fabric with scissors, determined to make a black spider man costume. He is learning to read, and is drawing up a storm. He tells us frequently that he is an artist. He really is pretty good. He's a great leaf-raker and the first eager one to help dad with anything. Whenever you say, "Dad is outside," or "Dad is working on..." he runs yelling, "I'm going to help!" His favorite book right now is "The Runaway Bunny." You just never know what they will take to. He's told us that when he grows up he will live in a VW bus and park in our yard, so he can use the bathroom.

Hayden will turn four on Monday. My baby. He wants a Star Wars cake (half Yoda and half Obi-wan Kanobi- or some spelling such as that). He asked for a sled for his birthday. This week I had two bags of Hershey kisses by the door to take to MOPS. The kids kept asking for them, and I kept reminding them they were for the moms. Hayden came down to my bathroom to try one more time. I reminded him that they had a "Secret Something" jar of treats, and the chocolates were for the mommas. He thought for a minute and said, "I have an idea. How 'bout we keep the Hershey kisses and let them have our "Secret Something" jar. Smart kid. We have difficulty getting Hayden to wear socks. I was thinking that it was because he doesn't have enough in his drawer, or can't get them on easily by himself, but yesterday he informed us that Uncle Jimmy never wears socks, and that is where he got it from!

We had a great day Sunday. Bill will start work at the Valley mall tomorrow. Sunday, we clocked the drive, and found the store. Then we hung out in a game and puzzle shop and found all kinds of interesting things. We then browsed Game Stop (seeing a theme here) and enjoyed the mall playland. We tried on Cherry Blossom lotion at Sharon's Bath and Body Works and smelled the pillowy sheep's belly. :D After all that excitement, we headed to Krispy Kreme for a snack, but missed our turn. When we turned around, we ran into a group of people racing their RC cars on a track. So we stopped and watched for awhile. The boys' wheels were turning thinking of how they could make a track in our yard, etc. We did our annual trip to Toys R Us to see what everyone finds interesting, and then to Mc D's for $1 chicken sandwiches and water. We had a focus event at church that night. The kids were inspired to be good at the thought of the long tables full of cookies out in the lobby for afterwards. We sat in the very back of the stadium style seating area of our auditorium. The kids spread out on the floor with coloring books. I was really proud of how quiet they were. It was encouraging. Maybe the family reading in the evening will pay off in more than one way.

Speaking of family reading, I know I've said this before, but I'm really treasuring our free nights. I'm sure it will change before too long, so I'm determined to embrace this season and not feel guilty for the lack of busyness. The busyness in the day is enough and it is nice to just take baths, have dinner, and read and color together in the evenings. I don't miss sports, and truthfully, I don't think my kids do either. But basketball is around the corner...so I treasure this time now.