Show Me Who God Is!

I was sitting with a friend last week who has one of the most intense, dynamic relationships with God I’ve ever seen. I love to just be with her, hoping her passion and her understanding of God’s love will rub off on me. She was sharing how God had revealed to her in a very personal, meaningful way the importance of our love for each other in the body of Christ - the eternal value of our relationships. Looking back over this year, I know for a fact that that is exactly the area that God has chosen to put me through boot camp. Naturally, I’m quite the task-oriented person. I’m not very relational. In fact I’m relationally impaired. So, in working through many issues this year, God has chosen to reveal things in my heart that needed dealt with so that I could experience true intimacy within the body of Christ. It has been painful. I often feel like the picnic table sitting on my porch, whose paint I’ve been harshly peeling off with a wire brush.

What I began to realize while sitting with my friend is truly how critical our relationships in the body are for our understanding of the Lord. Philemon 6 has been one of my favorite verses the last few years. It says, “I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.” At first glance, I thought the word “sharing” spoke of evangelism, but it doesn’t. It is the word “Koinania”. It is speaking of true fellowship. It is saying that unless we are active in sharing with each other what God is doing in our lives, we will not have a full understanding of what we have in Christ. I could not have found a verse that has proven more true in my life this last year. Verse 7 goes on to say, “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.” Wow! How refreshing and beautiful the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ is.

I was sharing with my friend how I’ve always been enthralled of how she “gets” God, but how so many may not even get what she means when she speaks of God’s unconditional, unfailing, passionate love - because they’ve never experienced that kind of love from anyone. How do we know who God is if the relationships we encounter with others never show us His character? He can supernaturally reveal those things to us, but so often He chooses to use the body to do that.

Let me try to explain more specifically. I’ve always had difficulty receiving unfailing, passionate love from God for me. I’ve equally had difficulty accepting it from my husband. I’ve been so insecure. He’s not given me any reason to doubt his faithfulness and commitment. Yet, my mind always goes to the worst possibilities when things aren’t going well. Just as I’ve worried that God may think of less of me when I’m not serving enough, or doing things the right way, I’ve worried that Bill might not be as committed to me if the house isn’t clean or I’m not cooking things right or because my body certainly shows the effects of having four children. As I’ve come to understand God’s love for me and have grown in security in Him, something has clicked in my marriage as well. The insecurities have left in both places, and I have began to see how Bill has shown God’s character to me over the years in areas that I didn’t understand the Lord.

It is God’s intention that we do that we show Who He is to each other. He’s given each of us a different piece of understanding about Him and His character and when we can receive those pieces from others, we have such a greater understanding. So keep sharing, and keep listening! We need each other!

Summer Reading List:
The Friendships of Women: Harnessing the Power in our Heartwarming, Heartrending Relationships by Dee Brestin

When God Says Go: The Amazing Journey of a Slave’s Daughter by Lorry Lutz (a favorite author)

First Mothers: The Women Who Shaped the Presidents by Bonnie Angelo

The Person Who Changed My Life: Prominent Americans Recall Their Mentors Edited by Matilda Raffa Cuomo

The Shepherd’s Guidebook: A Leader’s Guide for the Cell Group Church by Ralph W. Neighbour, Jr.

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John and Staci Eldredge

The Mom Factor by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Favorite signs at the antique mall:

“A Boy is a noise with dirt on it.”

“There is a special place in heaven for a mother of four boys.”

“Please excuse the mess and the noise. The kids are making happy memories.”

Kid Funny…well sort of:

Riley had a guest today and was trying to make him feel really welcome. There was a bit of arguing amongst the brothers about what he could and could not be allowed to do because of the house rules. But Riley stood up in his defense and announced, “He is our guest. He can do whatever he wants!” (Turning to his guest, he said) “You can even poop outside if you want to!”

Yeah, that’s how we make people feel welcome at the Gifford house.

It's been decided. I want to live in an antique mall! I could move from section to section and just be surrounded by beautiful old things. I stopped by one yesterday looking for an old cabinet of sorts for storage in my bathroom. I've been amazed at the prices of furniture these days. I was surprised when I began to see that it is almost cheaper to buy antiques these days. I don't know when that change in trends began. Is it simply that we don't value the old as much as we used to, or an insatiable appetite for the new? But give me a 75 year old bookcase any day as a pressboard kit-in-a-box, assemble yourself one for the same price. Good grief!

Birthdays have a strange effect on me. I either hop out of bed excited about the day or I wake up facing another year and feeling like I didn't accomplish much with the last year...which of course is just lies from the enemy. I'm ashamed to say that I succombed to the latter this year. But several helped turn that around. I had a great walk with the Lord first thing in the morning. I haven't done that for a while, not having a grip on my allergies. I decided my birthday would be a good time to start.

We've had a tradition in the Brandel family for as long as I can remember. Dad always took us out for breakfast on our birthday and had us think through our goals for the coming year. They started with things like: get better on the flute, finish a room in my dollhouse, etc. and evolved to things like memorize the book of James, publish my book. I guess that is why my birthday seems like a "year in review" of sorts. It's a good thing, though, and I really appreciate the motivation to be a goal setter.

So this year as I was on my walk with the Lord, I was remembering that it was exactly two years to the day that I had asked God if I could just meet the owner of the land we lease and God sent him to our door that very day. I was questioning God on my understanding of His ways and His promises. I confessed that one of my biggest fears was that one of the definitions I learned in the past for faith was: Understanding what God intends to do in a given situation, and acting in accordance with it. I confessed my fear that I feel I don't understand or see what God intends to do much of anywhere these days and fear trying to "act in accordance."

When I came home, I opened my e-mail and found this from Purpose Driven Life:

For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. Habakkuk 2:3 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

If you ever find yourself in God’s waiting room – waiting for an answer, a change, or a miracle – you just need to stop and trust God. He’s never late or in a hurry, because his timing is perfect.

Wow! O.K.

I was surprised by several calls from friends. My husband traded his days off, so he could work on the bathroom some more. His goal was that I could shower in the new bathroom this morning. He also watched the boys, so I could just escape for the afternoon. I ran a few errands, antique browsed, and found a nice grassy place to read for a while. It was perfect. Then my three local brothers came over for dinner and cake.

My heart is filling with things to write. It's about time! But unfortunately the kids are rousing and becoming quite chatty - so it will have to wait.

Hayden (standing next to me): Did I grow?
Me: You're always growing (starting to pretend cry). I wish you would stop because one day you're going to get taller than me, then you're going to get married and move out of my house?
Hayden (smile): But will you still be my mommy?
Me: YES! I will always be your mommy. (Kiss the top of his head).
Hayden: When will I get a phone?

I've had a week of sickness, and feel a bit beat up! I slept for 36 hours last weekend and then get a stomache bug in the middle of this week. Now I'm to the point of not knowing what is head cold and what is allergies. I've tried two different allergy meds, and so far nothing has been effective.

In the meantime, our mower has broken down a couple of times. I'm learning lots of new things. I've learned how to drive the mower, empty the grass, fill the tank, check for water in the carberator, clean the filter, oil the filter, drain the gas line, and check the fuel filter. I've also learned how to start and use the weed eater and change the line. I've learned how to operate the blower and mix 2 stroke gasoline. I've also given Clayton a few lessons on the mower and let him do some of the yard. There is now a chore that he ASKS to do!

Our van should be fixed tomorrow. I've really missed it! I'm just grateful to get it back, as there was some doubt in the beginning that it was really fixable (at least repair costs vs. value of the van). I have learned this week though that there are benefits to driving an old Subaru:

1) You can leave it with the windows down and doors unlocked when you go in the store and noone messes with anything.

2) You can *drive* vs. crawl down dirt roads with no real fear of dinging your paint job.

3) You can drive past all the corner lots full of full size vans and SUV's for sale and smile.

4) You can fully appreciate the sliding doors, remote locks, and six passenger seats in your mini-van when you get it back!

Well...off to watch some Ironman!

I'm dreaming of a green June,
Just like the ones I used to know.
Where the campfires crackle,
And children cackle,
And noone goes to summer camp in the snow.

This has been the LONGEST winter ever! No, we don't have snow here. But my poor son went off for a week of church camp with swim gear in tow - and got snowed on! Too crazy!

We're having a little challenge with broken things around here.
Our van is broken.
Our mower is broken.
My wedding ring is, once again, broken.
...and our internet was down most of the week.

The good news is that after three years of comlaining and maintenance reports, the landlord finally sent someone to look at our a/c. SO are A/C now works - which was little consolation at that point in the week when it was still 40 DEGREES OUTSIDE!!!

However, the weather has escelated to the 70's, and if I wasn't sick and had the chills, I would probably be employing that good 'ol a/c.

Bill's parents are here. We've really enjoyed having them around, and the boys are enjoying taking turns spending the night in the trailor.

Yesterday was the anual Liberty Lake yard sales. I spent right about $50 and got a couch; two gaming chairs; two lamps; a set of marlbe works toys; some game boy games; a pair of snow boots for the kids; a pair of shoes for myself; a snowboard with boots, helmet, and goggles; four rolls of wrapping paper; lighting for the basement; and perhaps some other little things I may have forgotten. I LOVE that sale!

Friday night, Dave Colburn, came and spoke at church. He'd been with the kids at camp all week. He brought cougars, wolves, snakes, and alligator snapping turtle, alligators, an owl, a falcon, a vulture, some skunks, etc. He showed the unique predatorial skills of all the animals and related them to sin/satan - the predator of our heart. It was a lot of fun.

Well, off to finish my nasty Theraflu and plop on the couch.

It often seems that my dreams tell me what is really bothering me inside. Recently, I dreamed that I got to MOPS for setup and the room was divided in thirds, like a pie. There were three different events happening in the room at the same time: MOPS, a funeral, and a Charlie Hall concert. The concert began, so the turned off all the lights and pumped up the music. I was trying to find the moms in the dark to let them know they could help themselves to brunch in the lobby, but found myself looking through the funeral crowd (conducting a funeral in the dark). I woke up realizing how much the complicated setup of this year had been.

Last night I dreamed that the city called and gave us deadline to get our yard mowed, or they were going to send a crew and bill us for it. Guess that's bothering me too.

A week or so ago, I sat down to read in the Psalms. I'd been there awhile. It is so comforting. This particular morning, though, I sat down and God said, "I think it's time to move on from Psalms." I said, "I think You're right, but I'm not sure what to move on to." "James," was the reply.

Each day has been like a little gift from God. It has been truly amazing how relevant each little passage I read relates to the exact circumstances of the day.

I read "If anyone asks wisdom, he should ask God...." and that day I had situation after situation come my way that were just wierd and unexpected. I found myself asking for lots of wisdom.

Bill didn't pass his PAT's and I read, "Blesses is the man who persevers under trial..."

I found myself facing some temptations, stronger than I had in awhile, and I read, "but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed..." Humbling.

...and today the passage was a direct way to pray for a dear friend of ours.

God's Word is precious, powerful, and completely relevent.

Oh, last weekend, one of our pastors, Bill Krause, preached one of the most powerful messages I've ever heard. It's not online yet, but watch for it in the "Unstoppable" series. It is called, "Church - God's Idea." http://www.reallifeministries.com/sermons_current

It's Been Awhile

When I wait so long to update, I find myself waiting longer to update because I have this need to "catch up" the blog. But I'm just going to go for it and get started - even if today's posting is a bit random.

Today was one of those days where you find yourself buried in piles of paperwork, only to find a moment's relief by switching from filling out paper forms to filling out online forms. Bill now has health insurance! YEAH!! After six years, we are thrilled for him to finally have some insurance. But today I found myself pouring over forms. Do we want medical? dental? hi or lo? life? cafeteria plan? insure any dependents? Every form needs filled out and signed, even if we reject coverage. I have to say there is some form of simplicity in having no insurance.

Then there was camp forms and medical waivers and online applications.

If that wasn't enough, the government decided that our household would be one of the lucky ones that got to fill out the U.S. Census forms. So I was forced to cheerfully fill out four pages of information for each member of our household. Well, they can't really force me to do it cheerfully, but it is required by law that I fill it out.

Anyway...besides paper! Bill's parents are on their way, so I'm scrambling to finish the bookcase that Bill's dad helped me repair and rebuild last summer. My books have been unpacked on the kids art table since last August while I intended to refinish that bookcase. I HAVE to have it finished before they get back this summer - though I'm sure they are reading this and already know. But that is a good representation of what this year has been like. We worked on that bookcase around the time Riley had surgery last summer. Then school started and MOPS started, and the year has been packed solid.

Besides all that excitement, we spent the morning picking up rocks and sticks from the Dalton National Dandelion Forest (otherwise known as our yard). This last week we graduated from the push mower with a frozen engine to a used lawn tractor, which will be much more convenient in mowing acreage. We are excited to have some equipment our boys can use and begin to share the load around here a little more.

The apple blossoms have dropped. The lilacs are in bloom. Snow has finally melted off Micah Peak (though my grandma in central Idaho still has snow). Allergy meds prove effective as long as I stay inside. School is all but finished. MOPS is finished. I feel free as a bird. Something about summer makes me feel like every day is a freebie, and I can just be excited about anything I accomplish.

Cute things about the kids recently...

Ian: Mommy! I need to get some leaves for my butterfly, so it will stay in my jar and build a cocoon and change into a catepillar!

Ian and Hayden got summer buzz cuts. I don't like them. Hayden's is o.k. But I don't even know Ian. He's not the same kid. Here's a couple of pics of our "twins."


Before


After