More About "Captivating"

When God creates Eve, he calls her an ezer kenegdo. "It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]" (Gen. 2:18 Alter). Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is "notoriously difficult to translate." The various attempts we have in English are "helper" or "companion" or the notrorious "help meet." Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat...disappointing? What is a help meet anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing "One day I shall be a help meet?" Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Alter is getting close when he translates it "sustainer beside him."

The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately.

"There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you...

"Blessed are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword." (Deut. 33:26,29, emphasis added)

"May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help." (Ps. 33:20, emphasis added)

"We wait in hope for the Lord, he is our help and our shield." (Ps. 33:20, emphasis added)

"O house of Israel, trust in the Lord - he is their help and shield. O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord - he is their help and shield. You who fear him, trust in the Lord - he is their help and shield." (Ps. 115:9-11, emphasis added)

Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he is not there beside you...you are dead. A better translation therefore of ezer would be "lifesaver." Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.

You see, the life God calls us to is not a safe life. Ask Joseph, Abraham, Moses, Deborah, Esther - any of the friends of God from the Old Testament. Ask Mary and Lazarus; ask Peter, James, and John; ask Priscilla and Aquila - any of the friends of God in the New Testament. God calls us to a life involving frequent risks and many dangers. Why else would we need him to be our ezer? You don't need a lifesaver if your mission is to be a couch potato. You need an ezer when your life is in constant danger....

That longing in the heart of a woman to share life together as a great adventure - that comes straight from the heart of God, who also longs for this. He does not want to be an option in our lives. He does not want to be an appendage, a tagalong. Neither does any woman. God is essential. He wants us to need him - desperately. Eve is essential. She has an irreplaceable role to play. And so you'll see that women are endowed with fierce devotion, an ability to suffer great hardships, a vision to make the world a better place.

That is just one of my favorite quotes from "Captivating", by John and Stasi Eldredge, because it clears up the whole, muddled meaning of the help meet. It gives power and meaning to the role of a wife. God's purpose for us was never demeaning or second rate...neither is it controlling and emasculating. It is the perfect balance between humble servatude and fierce life-saving power. It is the realizing as Christ did (as Paul states in Philippians 2) that we know the glory God created woman for, but we're willing to humble ourselves (while resting sure in the confidence of who we are in Christ), serve, love unconditionally, and be an ezer kenegdo. We do it without fear or resentment because we know Who will take care of us, Who is responsible for us, and where our glory lies. Living with the constant reminder before us of what is waiting for us in eternity, gives us the ability to empower someone else to be the head of our homes - to do all we can to bolster his confidence and make him successful.

More tomorrow!

Quick Update

Bill will be seeing a surgeon today. The conclusion at this point is that he probably has a lypoma cyst behind his leg that is pinching off the paroneal nerve. So we need to get that removed.

Bill is also scheduled to do his PAT's (Player's Ability Tests) again on Monday in Moses Lake, WA. He *can* golf, but it is very tiring. He will need to play 36 holes. We've gone back and forth about backing out of it, but the design of this particular course is ideal for his game - and he really doesn't want to have to wait until next year. There are some pressing needs careerwise to pass it sooner.

SO! We would appreciate your prayers and will update you soon.

Blog Subscriptions

A friend (aka "O") tipped me off today that she hadn't been receiving her blog subscriptions. I failed to mention on here that "blogarithm" recently was bought out. So, the e-mail address the subscriptions come from has changed. You may check your "junk/spam" folder for something coming from "RssFwd Daily Digest". That address will now be the one it is coming from, and you may need to add it to your address book, depending on how your spam filters work. Thanks for your patience!!

A Visit to the Neurologist

We went to see a neurologist today and have some test performed on Bill's leg. We have confirmed that there is a pinched nerve, whose lining is probably detoriating. His muscle still looks good. Those are both good news. However, we are caught in the middle-man loop of medicine where you have to go back to one guy to ask for a referral for the next thing, so he can refer the next thing, etc. We left feeling frustrated to not have treatment and recovery answers, but did leave with the hope of a full recovery. In fact the neurologist said many recover from this same thing completely on their own. If we are unable to make any headways with his progress in two weeks (or jump through all the hoops), he would like to redo the tests and compare the variances. So, that is that! - so far. In the meantime, we are just trying to keep him from tripping over himself and injuring other parts of his body.

He is taking his mind off things this afternoon by hitting the driving range with Clayton....which is actually hitting floating balls into the lake, marked by yardage buoy. By the way, if you'd like, you can check out the course Bill is "pro-ing" at by going to www.floatinggreen.com.

EXCUSE ME! I have a verse!

I didn't want to call the whole coffee shop to attention today and give a sermon, so I just went from mom to mom. I had a verse to share. Don't worry, I'm really not a total lunatic. I knew all the moms at the coffee shop. They were all MOPS friends gathered to escape the dreary weather day and have a little fellowship. About 2 a.m., after posting my "long update" on here, I needed to quiet my soul. My husband should never allow me to drink coffee with him at night. It doesn't do the same thing to me that it does to him. So anyway, the Psalms are always a good place to quiet my soul down, and I began to read, "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord." Psalm 113:9.

It struck me how often we forget who opened our wombs. How often we forget that he is the one that settled us in our homes with our children...and way too often we forget the happy part. We get so wrapped up in the daily that we forget the blessing. I'm with ya, sista! So today I've been praying for all my mom friends to be happy - not that life will all go perfectly and nothing will rock our boats, but that we will choose happiness - that we will dwell on the blessings and thank God for what he has given us. Praise the Lord!

Valley Hills VBS

Long Update

Gracious time flies! I keep jotting notes and taking pictures, hoping something interesting eventually.

I wanted to update everyone on Bill's leg. So far, he has had no real progress. He fell again on Sunday because he rolled his ankle. He came home swollen and had to ice it down. He will be seeing a neurologist on Thursday to do some further testing. It has pretty much been decided that it is the peroneal nerve that is being pinched. It just hasn't been determined exactly where or why. So that is what we are set to find out. We're so grateful that he has insurance as of June. He has been without for six years. God has really blessed in the timing of all of this. I cannot imagine if he were still trying to do tile and we didn't have any insurance to help with this. God's timing is perfect.

Meanwhile, he continues to practice swinging with the clubs he's settled on to continue with and keep preparing for the PAT's on August 4 in Moses Lake, barring any immediate surgeries, etc. God knows. We've also discovered that flip-flops do not work for him, since his foot only flops and has lost it's flip.

Family Updates

For a summer that had virtually nothing planned, boy has it been busy! We made a trip to my grandma's at the end of June (pictures already posted in an earlier post) to celebrate her 79th birthday and meet my dad for a little fishing with the boys. She lives on the Cascade Resevoir in Donnelly on a beautiful peninsula. The water was so high this year, that their "beach" was completely submerged, so we fished from the dock and went swimming at another part of the lake. It is always such a peaceful and restful place to go. I always feel like I'm staying at a posh resort for free. Where else can you sit in a big wooden chair on the deck, overlooking the lake, with your favorite book; have grandma's cooking; laugh 'til your sides hurt; go to bed early; and sleep in late? This visit brought a special treat as my Aunt Renee and cousins David and Hannah came up from Arizona. I hadn't seen them in about eight years, and David and Hannah are all grown up. We had a great visit!

I brought my brother Casey back with me for a week and a half and enjoyed some time with him. We did a little bit of driving lessons and had a great time!





THEN, we took Casey back to Springfield, Oregon, and spent a few days there. On the way, Casey and I hiked with all the boys to the top of Multnomah Falls. We usually stop there to stretch a little and sometimes hike to the bridge. But we'd never been to the top. It is only a mile up, but it is all uphill. It took about 2 hours to go up and back, but it was beautiful and very worth it. At the top the boys played in a creek for a while and cooled up before we headed back down.



In Springfield, we did our traditional visit to one of their city's indoor water parks, did a little yard-saling, and played lots of Facebook Scramble together. The biggest thing we did, though, was help start their VBS week. Mom and dad's church doesn't have a building, so they have to do their VBS in a park. Every night, they bring a U-haul to the park and unload and set up all their supplies and tear it all down at the end of the night. They have an amazing team, and it was really fun to work with all of them and witness their teamwork and excitement for what God is doing in their neighborhoods. This is the church that Bill and I have gone and done some small group training with, so we feel very connected with their growth and progress. I helped with registration the two nights I was there, and had a great time. They busted their attendance goal. The really cool thing is that the 5th and 6th grade class was the biggest. That is usually the age that VBS is becoming "uncool", but these kids just kept coming. Every one of them will be a middle-schooler next year. So God is really doing something there. (I'm going to post more pictures of it later.)





We came home, spent one night, and then headed up to Riley Creek between Sandpoint and Priest River to camp with Bill's parents for a couple of nights. It was nice to just have some time to sit and read. They boys went swimming while I sat and read. The boys practiced skateboarding moves while I sat by the road and read. The boys went to the playground to play while I sat and read. So nice. We also had great fun making s'mores each night.

Finally Home!
So this week, I've finally been tackling the house projects that have been left behind. I finished re-doing my patio furniture...and now really LOVE to sit out there. Hey! I even like to just look out the window and see it. It has been so long since I just did something creative - or sewed! It gives me a great since of accomplishment. I love the rustic, wood interior of our home, but sometimes wish I had a way to add more color. So I decided to start outside. :D I resigned any ambitions this year of a garden, and decided to settle for things I could maintain in individual pots. I'm really proud of my flowers, though. Even with all the trips, I haven't killed anything yet! (Well, others have helped me water when I've been gone, so It's not all me. :D)

Before Pics:












After Pics:















About Those Kids

So a little summer update about all the kiddos:






Clayton
You would never, ever know that Clayton was the smallest baby in the nursery. This kids is solid and getting bigger everyday. Last week we went and bought shoes...or was it a couple of weeks before...or, I know, it was BOTH! Good grief! He is built like his Papa Dan and could go against any beanpole twice his height. He also has really made our hearts pound this summer as his consciences seems to be awakening. It makes us so proud to see him come back and admit when he's blown it, and apologize on his own. Wow! He also has an affinity for driving. But for now, he'll have to settle for the riding mower - which he does with joy! I never thought it could be so easy to get some chores done around here. Ha! Ha! This morning he got up, got dressed, asked if he could please mow, mowed the whole yard, put away the mower, and then even closed up the garage. Then he sheepishly came in and grinned through his comments about loving to drive. He purchased and electric guitar with his birthday money, and his mom really needs to spend more time working with him on that. :P He also used the rest of his birthday money to put with four other bikes and trade them all in for a Redline. He is very proud of it, and has been biking most everywhere - when he's not skateboarding. It's really good to see him out and active like that.







Riley
Riley ended up with three stitches last month after simply running by something metal and catching his knee on it. He did fine with all the recovery, but did end up helping the doctor by pulling one of the stitches out himself. He said it just needed done because it was already loose and that part had already scabbed over. His latest thing is "body art". Often when I come upstairs in the morning, he has already piled his hair full of some goop and sculpted it into a "fauxhawk" or something similar. If he gets bored, I often find him drawing on his brothers' legs, arms, stomaches, etc. In a recent "Upwards" game, he asked the meaning of "mellow", to which Aunt Michelle replied, "The opposite of Riley." He grinned a little and said, "You mean, like, calm." When we played "Whoonu", Riley declared that his favorite thing ever was microwaves. Who knew? Aunt Michelle also overheard a bathtime conversation where he and Ian were re-playing a Spiderman 3 scene with their newly gifted-by-Uncle-Taylor-Marvel characters. Ian (playing Spiderman) asked Sandman (played by Riley) why he had to rob a bank to pay for his daughter's medical care. Why couldn't he just write a check. Sandman (aka Riley) tried to explain that you can't just write a check when you don't have any money. That would be wrong. (But somehow robbing the bank was better?) Riley amazes us at "Boggle". He finds words that others don't see and never mispells them. He never sees the three letter words. Just the long ones. He still loves music, and has finally asked me to start teaching him piano. YEAH!







Ian
I still miss his hair. What can I say? I really hope it grows fast. We went to the local BMX track yesterday, and Ian was able to get his newer bike all the way around the track and over all the jumps by himself. He was really proud! He is also a bit particular. He will only wear his BMX helmet for biking and will only wear his multi-purpose helmet for skating. He is amazing on a skateboard for such a little tike. He rarely falls, can turn in a full circle, do an ollie, flip the board off his feet and land on it. He is our boy who goes through stages, and fully immerses in each one. Right now we are between skateboards and the new Marvel action figures from Uncle Taylor. I love watching his creativity and role-play.







Hayden
Hayden rode his bike all the way home from Aunt Michelle and Uncle Jonathan's house last night...with Aunt Michelle. He is getting so big. He is built like Clayton - solid as a rock. He is still definitely the baby and likes his hugs and snuggles. He is going through a horrible scream-to-get-my-way stage right now, so that isn't a lot of fun. But in the meantime, his freckles just make your heart swell. We're sure he sprouts a couple of new ones each night. He really likes to draw letters right now. His mom should really work with him some more on that. He is always drawing a bunch of letters and asking me what it spells. Usually it doesn't spell a thing, but occasionally, he'll luck out and spell something like "ham." It is very exciting. :D



We're enjoying having Taylor home for the summer. He's hung around a lot and even taken the nephews on outings. We went huckleberry picking together last weekend. In his honor, we had a big family game night last weekend as well. There is nothing like laughing with my brothers...unless it is laughing with my dad and his sisters. Oh, gracious, they're all nuts!

Well, it's 1:15 a.m., and I'm finally finishing this...which is why I haven't gotten around to it much lately. :P

Small Update

Nothing showed up on the MRI, which is a praise. However, in a hospital mix-up, the x-rays were never done. So we're not finished yet. Bill isn't in much pain, but that's just because he can't feel anything - which isn't really positive. Please pray that we will be wise in asking questions and using the right kind of doctors. Also, I will be driving home today with all four of the boys from Oregon, so you could pray for me too. :D

Please Pray for Bill

Some of you know that Bill has been having some problems with his left leg. As of this morning, he had no feeling in his left leg and could not lift his foot. The doctor sent him straight to the E.R. for an MRI. I'm in Oregon with the kids and waiting anxiously to hear what the results are and how fast I need to drive back. My mind is tempted to wander 1,000 directions about how bad this could be, but I think I'll go spend some time in the Psalms instead. We'd appreciate your prayers.

Our Anniversary Celebration

Thanks to all of you who have sent us congratulations and well wishes. You deserve a congratulations, too! Because many of you have pointed us back to God 1,000 times when we were frustrated. You encouraged our commitment instead of our feelings. So thank you for being a part of our team!

This anniversary had to be one of the most special ever. It was so simple, but it was really fun. Bill had to work - and not just work, but close. That means usually at least 10p.m. in the summer. So I recruited a few family members to help with kids and simply went to hang out at the golf course and watch Bill work. That was really fun - just to see him in his element. There is something about watching a man work.





I had brought a bottle of sparkling cider, and the kitchen crew got it iced down. While Bill was finishing up, they set up candles, glasses, strawberries, and chocolate on the deck. Then they all left, and it was just us. Sigh. The night was perfect. The moon was beautiful. The air was warm. The stars twinkled. We sat there very much in love and very grateful.

"For Better or For Worse"

We look so happy, don’t we?! Do you want to know the secret to staying married through seven moves, five years of grad school, four kids, post-partum depression, and three career changes? Sheer, jaw-clenching commitment! It was funny when Bill and I were looking through pictures the other night. For one thing, I marveled at how difficult it was to find pictures of the two of us together without kids. You get to that point, where you are just taking pictures of kids and one or the other of you always has the camera….and then there were those years that we didn’t have a camera, and those years that didn’t seem like you wanted to remember much. Bill would remark. “You look tired in that picture.” Huh! You think?! Or “Your smile is pasted on in that picture.” Yeah, probably!

Truthfully, though, when I recount the events of the last twelve years, I wouldn’t recommend that many try to follow in our footsteps. Of course the one thing I believe was always woven through was our desire to be in the center of God’s will. How many times I’ve pleaded with the Lord as we’ve had a revelation of a past mistake, “O God, don’t you know our hearts were right?” …and I know He does.

When you stand at the altar, gaze sappily into each others’ starry eyes, and say the words, “For better or for worse“, you have NO idea what that will entail. We couldn’t possibly know. - and if we did, we’d probably never say them.

Being committed to our marriage is a choice to love each other unconditionally the way Christ loves and pursues us. It’s a choice to remain faithful the way Christ is always faithful. It is a realization that if one of us chose to leave, we couldn’t be right with God. It means staying committed to each other through weight gain, depression, childhood scars, emotional handicaps, job loss, uncertainty, poverty, bed rest, loneliness, fatigue, stress, long work hours, overdue papers, piled up laundry, failures, hurting each other, cultural differences, growing spiritually at different rates, disrespect, apathy, sharing one car, and endless diapers. Our marriage has been through all of those and more, sometimes to our shame - and sometimes just because it was life - our journey in process.

During one of our hardest years, I cried to a friend, “I want to stick through this because I don’t want to miss how beautiful it could be in ten years if we let God work.”…and work He has. To His glory, we genuinely are happily, gleefully in love even after all of the above. But now when we think of the words, “For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health,” we have a real understanding of what that means. Today, I would honestly say all those words again.

I heard a new statistic on the radio the other day. They interviewed those that had been at a crisis point in their marriage and chosen to work things out. They also interviewed those that had chosen to divorce. Five years later, those that had worked things out said they were happier than ever, while those who had chosen divorce reported that they were just as miserable as when they were married.

Sheer and utter commitment to God and each other. That is our secret, folks! We’ve had good times. We’ve done a lot of things right. But without choosing to remain committed no matter what, we couldn’t have recovered from our mistakes. We wouldn’t have let God heal and restore. We wouldn’t be looking to the future with hope.

But we are!

12th Anniversary

A Visit to Grandma's House

Happy Birthday, America!

I'm So There

You know that place where being a stay at home mom for eleven years meets it's time to start earning an income...I'm SO there!

I've been praying and praying about what to do. I have all the kids enrolled for school in the fall, so I can go back to work. But I'm really hoping for the ideal situation. I'd like to have the same schedule as my kids -off when they are off, with the flexibility of still being active in women's ministry. I'd really love to just stay home and write and try to earn income that way - but not sure how soon that is really possible. Some days I panic, thinking, "It's JULY! and I still don't know what I'm doing this fall." Then I think, "It's only July. I have plenty of time."

If I'm going to be working long term, I'd like to go back to school and get "certified" to do whatever it is I'm going to be doing. But I haven't been sure if I can really go now, because I need to earn money now. I did decide, however, to just start investigating.

I find it interesting that in the last three weeks, every day I really sit down and pray about the future, the guidance counselor from the University of Phoenix calls me. Bill and I have talked about it, and I've decided to go ahead and fill out the FASFA forms, etc, and just see what God does.

We've had a few really fun days around here, and I was anxious to share pictures, but photobucket doesn't seem to want to cooperate today. Maybe tomorrow.

P.S. I'm officially addicted to Facebook Scramble.

Captivating

I'm currently reading "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. Wow! I have had so many people recommend that book to me, and I've had it on my "list" for a while. I'm so glad I'm finally reading it. It feels as if it was written just for me - answering so many questions about God's design for women. In my world, surrounded by men, I often feel a little out of place - not even really knowing what a woman should be. I'm seeing how often I've bought into the lie of the enemy that beauty is vain and feminine is silly and weak. I'm really being challenged!