A Night Out

Where can you see Michael W. Smith, visit with a favorite relative, meet Frank Peretti, catch up with a pastor friend and your worship minister, and find a new home group all at once? Apparently at a Michael W. Smith concert.

On Monday, Bill and I had the privelege of going to the Michael W. Smith Holiday Concert in Spokane. Some of you may remember that Bill's nephew married Christa Black, who is a part of Michael's crew. She plays the violin and guitar, but for this tour is mainly a backup singer.

We got to spend a few precious minutes with Christa before the concert and give her a little care package. The time was way too short. She seemed so tired. I just wanted to take her home and make her soup and put her to bed.

The concert was wonderful. Melinda Doolittle was there, too. I didn't know who she was until Monday (not an American Idol fan), but I will remember her now! Smitty mentioned releasing his first Christmas album 20 years ago! Could we really be that old? Sigh.

When the concert was over, Bill helped a clueless teenager change his tire. He didn't know where to put the jack, and didn't have any gloves. Did I mention it was a cool 7 degrees? When he finished with that, there was another vehicle in the parking lot whose Diesel had frozen (congealed?). So we gave two couples a ride to Hauser Lake.

We were starving! We had grabbed Starbucks and a snack before the concert and told ourselves we would eat after. But with all the running around, we ended up at good old 24 hour Denney's about 11:00 to eat.

It was fun, though, and we are enjoying filling our home with the sounds of "A New Hallelujah!"

Of Floods And....

You guessed it - Poop!

After a week of stomache flu and on the verge of the busiest weekend of the year, we thought it might be fun to flood the basement - so we did!

Just kidding. Well, it did flood, but not because we planned it. This home we rent is on a very old cesspool system that needs to be replaced. The joy of cesspools is that they drain right out into the ground. So when the ground is saturated, there is nowhere for the black or grey water to go. So you guessed it! It just backs up into the house.

This afternoon I was busy finishing work on my computer, when water begin quickly flooding the basement from the laundry room. We were able to stop the surge by turning off the washer. But were faced with lots of water, wet walls, wet carpet, you get the picture. Thankfully, this was mostly soapy water that had tried to drain from the washer. Several hours later, the cesspool is pumped with temporary relief until the whole system is replaced. You can guess what that involved - yeah, lots of poop! I shouldn't really complain. I'm in here blogging about it, while Bill is out in the freezing rain, helping cut through concrete. So we are on water restriction. We can only use enough water to fill the remainder of the tank and it will back up again.

If that isn't motivation to clean the basement, I don't know what is. Course that was NOT on the agenda for the night. The agenda for tonight? Plan A: Clayton's school musical play Plan B: (due to Clayton having the stomache flu), Bill taking Riley and Ian to their award's night at church for their discipleship program (that Bill also helps lead) Plan C: Mop up water, set up fans, pump out poop, serve hot chocolate to workers, occupy kids with movies, and add 6 more loads of laundry (ie. wet towels, blankets, gloves, clothes, and shoes) to the list. But oh, well!

Last night I was doing my 10 minute routine...ten minutes to make cookie dough (and let others make the oookies), 10 minutes for dishes, 10 minutes to decorate the tree, 10 minutes to clean out a file....How do you decorate a tree in 10 minutes? Well, you should see the tree. Hayden got to pick it out this year. It has about 10 branches!

I usually do an annual purging of the file cabinet in January. This year, as piles of paper begin to overflow on every available surface, I decided it was time to do it early. I also decided that there wasn't much use for all but the top drawer. I've had a file cabinet since I was 18. Yeah, what does an OCD 18 year old do with their graduation money? Go on a trip? Upgrade their car? No! Invest in a file cabinet to keep organized? For years, I clipped articles and saved sermon notes, and all manner of things that were full of good information and would be useful for years to come.

I realized yesterday.........I NEVER look for anything in my file cabinet! I have a new form of information searching now, it is called GOOGLE! I can find anything I want in seconds. Why store an entire tree in my corner!?

So, I began viscously weeding 1/2 a drawer in 10 minutes. I found a very interesting file. It was labeled "Passions". I expected to find it full of articles on Passions, but it was not as I thought. I don't even remember starting this file. I don't remember putting any of the contents in it. It must have been started during darker days of motherhood, based on its contents. It contained an article about a crisis nursery, the first children's story I ever wrote, and a pamphlet for Wycliffe. I found it very interesting that somehow, sometime, I had started filing away my dreams. It was a file of the things I would do, if I could do anything: write, minister to moms in crisis, and Scripture translation. Very interesting.

So, you guessed it! I left that file alone.

I've come to that place where I have to accept I am once again in survival mode. No longer am I nursing a baby, with three other little ones hanging on my legs. Now, I'm managing three kid's homework assignments, soccer club, basketball games, doctor's appointments, Christmas programs, special choir, drama rehearsal, and discipleship groups. I'm trying to keep the house at a point where the clutter isn't a safety hazard and the dirt isn't a health hazard. I'm trying to get at least six hours of sleep a night, and I'm working full time. This will be the year that I buy the pre-packaged cookie dough with candy canes stamped on it.

A friend and I were reflecting tonight (over a salted caramel hot chocolate at Starbucks) about some of the things God has taken me through this year. He has been refining and refining and refining. He has removed me from position and leadership and sent me to another desert place. He has caused me to prove that the truth I've known in my heart and written out on paper is really liveable. That God really is the initiator of our relationship with Him - that the relationship really is more important than spiritual activity - that a mom really can thrive in her relationship with God when everyone else is speaking for her time.

Life now happens in 10 minute increments: 10 minutes in the Word, 10 minute lunch breaks, 10 minute exercise sessions, 10 minutes to drill spelling words, 10 minutes to throw dinner in the crockpot. I'm learning that if something is going to take more than 10 minutes, I better not even try to take it on.

Which brings me to my new exercise routine. Bill has started P90X. Yes, he plans to be buff. He wanted me to do it with him, but I just couldn't imagine where I'd find an hour a day to do ANYTHING else! Instead of going on without me, though, he surprised me with the 10 Minute Trainer!! It is just my kind of thing! So now, I will work out 20 minutes a day - yes, 10 minutes at a time! It is only 20 minutes, but 20 minutes I wasn't doing before.

I can't tell you how much more energized I feel with just a little exercise. I sleep better, don't wake up hurting everyday (which was getting really annoying), and am overall more motivated to make healthy choices just because I know I'm working at something. So last night Bill and I did our before photos. No, I won't be posting them. Talk about embarrassing. I am currently at the heaviest I have ever been (not pregnant). Something about new medication combined with sitting 40 hours a week while my boys are in school as opposed to constantly having someone to chase, has been a bad combination for this girl. What is even worse is when you measure as big or bigger than your big strong man at almost every measurement point. Yikes!

So, yeah, I'm ready to start some better habits. I've been much more consciensious about my eating and the meals I'm preparing. I guess it is a good year to not have time for Christmas baking!

In other news, I took the boys to a Living Nativity last Sunday night while Bill was working. It was so cool! The boys got to have a real experience of walking through Bethlehem, petting goats, seeing the market, etc. Riley about got kissed by a camel. It was a great way to start the season with the kids.

Riley and Ian have both done their Christmas performance at school. It was SO good. I wish I knew how to post video to You tube, because Riley was quite the little dancer. :D Clayton's drama/choir program is Friday, and Hayden's program is next Tuesday. We have three free nights before Christmas!

I was looking over some verses in my 3x5 spiral last night while waiting for an appointment and ran across this one: "I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me." Psalm 57:2 This verse has become a favorite. When I'm tempted to be frustrated over a book with no more publishing proposals ready or a half started web-site with no time to work on, I keep reminding myself Who is responsible to fulfill the purposes God laid out for me. "God, it is Your book." "God it is Your Glory. It is Your Kingdom. It is Your purpose."

The other interesting part of that verse is the meaing of "fulfills." The Hebrew word there means: to bring to an end, fail, fulfill. It is interesting that there is quite a bit of negative conotation to those words: fail, bring to an end. So often God has to bring us to our end, to allow us to fail, to end what we know in order to bring His purposes to fulfillment. It has given me a bit to chew on today.

New things

So I've had a few new experiences lately:

* I tried to do my job one day with a laptop, and wanted to cut my own finger off to punish it for doing such a horrible job as a mouse. I may be the only laptop owner that will travel around with a mouse (if I ever get a laptop).
* I had my teeth cleaned my a male hygenist.
* I went to a baby dedication service where a single mom dedicated her child. You may think it is wierd that I mention it, but think about it....have you ever seen that? The fact that I noticed that I'd never seen that, made me sit and stew about why. Is is that the church is generally so condemning on why they have a child? Or are they just generally feel ashamed? In this case, it was an adoption - so no shame...but what about all the others? Shouldn't they be supported in their parenting role 3x as much as a married couple? Interesting.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! We are enjoying some time in Oregon with my parents. All of my brothers will be here. We are surprising dad with a 60th birthday celebration while we are here. My boys have dress clothes and Beetles wigs all set for the lip sync performance of "She Loves You! (yeah, yeah, yeah)" Should be very cute.

Bill is still laid off. He is being scheduled to work at the course about one day a week, collecting unemployment, and finding a few odd jobs here and there to do for people.

I am now working completely from our house. We moved all the office equipment to the basement to set up a real office area. We connected the second computer to internet, so now Bill and I can spend our evenings surfing the net together. He can play Facebook Poker, while I play with web design, etc. That has been fun.

Clayton just finished his first set of finals, and did very well. He is growing steadily, plans on trying out for JV Basketball in January, still loves to read, and making some new friends at school. He has recently begin writing poetry as a hobby...chip off the ol' block. :D

Riley is trying his hand at basketball. He somehow got put on a 4th grade team, but is hanging in there. He also was asked to join the special chorus for 4th and 5th grade at his school (though he is in 3rd grade). He is loving that! His choir just took 1st place at district competition this week. He is also in the top reading group in his class and in Advanced Math. We are continually amazed at how much he is thriving in a school that understands creative, active kids. His Advanced Math teacher taught his small group at church this week and came in to our parent/teacher conference just to try to tell us how amazed he was at how well Riley was doing - but he was really pretty speechless. He just couldn't get it out - and we understood. Last month he participated with a special group of kids at school in performing at a Boys and Girls Club fundraiser, since he had passed the "globe test" at school.

Ian is the responsible student. He helps remind his class members of how they are to organize their desks. His is super-conscienscious of making sure his assignments are done and his work is in the right side of the folder. He is also in the top reading group. He brings home his green card every week for good conduct and we put it on the fridge. One week, he came home bursting into tears, because he had turned a yellow card. It hasn't happened again. He has also passed the globe test at school. Globe walking, by the way, is the ability to balance and walk around on a hard plastic ball (about 3 ft. in diameter). To pass the test, you must be able to go front, back, side to side, and stay on it for a certain amount of time. Now Ian is working on juggling while globe walking. He can do two balls.

Hayden likes to put on a show every night at dinner of what song he sang at school that day. He is EXTREMELY shy around those he doesn't know well. It is amazing how far he can bury his head into my leg. He does love to sing. He grows an extra freckle every day. This morning, he was singing "Where is Thumbkin" with himself, with full hand motions, while sitting on the toilet. Hayden just had his Grandparent Thanksgiving Feast at school, and took Lawanda and Wally (Michelle's parents) as adopted grandparents, since his others couldn't come. He really likes his school, where they have an awesome playground, a class-pet tarantula, and daily art projects. However, he would be more than happy to stay home with mom any day.

Warning! The following, may be offensive to those who don't understand boys
Recent conversations around our house:

On the way to a basketball game, with Riley changing in the van....
Clayton: Riley! Your feet smell like puke!
Riley: Well, maybe they will stink so bad, we'll pass the other team out and we'll win.
Clayton: You're going to pass your own team out first!

Ian: Riley, you stink! Your breath smells like a fart!

Clayton: Mom! I found fresh bear poop on the mountain!

Riley: Buddy has been stinkin' really bad lately.
Clayton: Yeah, he keeps finding deer guts to eat that the hunter's leave.
Bill: Yeah, I hate it when the guts just sit up there, they turn all white and cottage cheesey.

Lord, have mercy!

Election Response

Can I just say I was so sick to my stomache that night. I know the truth. God is still in control. He can use anyone, right? But, there is a grieving process with every loss.

I do have to say, that for the historical aspect of this election, I also cheer! I think it is awesome to have a black president (just didn't want it to be that particular man). There are a lot of wounds in our nation that need healed. I know God can really use this to help those in the prejudice dominated areas of our country realize that they cannot dominate forever - that they don't speak for the whole nation. I also pray it will dissolve the myth among our minorities that the whole nation is against them. There is much spiritual application to what has happened in our election - that the oppressed people, once held in bondage, now sit at the highest position in the land. Don't you rejoice in a God that can do that kind of thing?! I do.

Do I still get sick to my stomache when I have flashbacks of images from the news of churches full of believers weeping tears of joy that they finally have someone in office that stands against so many sacred principles of God's Word? YES!

The other aspect of this election is that I am convicted more and more of my own lack of involvement. I think it is easy to sit and rest when we feel that the one in office is safe. But now, there is much motivation to stand up, get involved, be active in change. I encourage Christians everywhere to not sit down whining about our doom, but rise up and get involved. Because....

The truth is: Change doesn't come with politics. Politics are a reflection of change. Obama isn't the one who is going to change everything. Obama was elected because the nation has changed. Change happens in hearts and hearts will elect leaders that reflect their hearts. So, there are those who will rest in the government and still expect them to not only change their world and improve their conditions - but expect them to be their giver of hope. Then there is me, and those like me, who know that no government can bear that responsibility or fulfill it for any culture. That is the job of the creator of the universe.

Let us not forget who sets up and tears down kingdoms and rulers. Let us not forget as 1 Peter 2 states that the our rulers are put in office to do justice to those who do evil, and to do good to those who are righteous. Let us pray that he doesn't overstep his role, but let us also keep our hope in the God of the universe.

Our job is to make disciples as we go, and if we were all doing that - we would never fear another election.

My Country 'Tis of Me!

So today is the day! - the day Americans decide what they think is important. I remember having the same thoughts go through my mind four years ago, as I do now. Do we decide to do what is morally right - to choose freedom, independence, and captialism - or to choose what we think will put more money in our pocket books?

Now, I could get on a whole soap box on that issue alone - on whether or not one candidate will yield more money in someone's pockets. But I will forego that for tonight.

It is true. The economy isn't great right now. If anyone understands that, we do. Bill is laid off for the third time in our marriage. We have consistently lived on less than ideal - and lack of education has not been to blame.

However, we live in a land where we are all guaranteed the ability and right to pursue happiness. There is nothing in our constitution that gives our government the responsibility to guarantee me a job or a certain income, or even an education. We are guaranteed the right to pursue.

My new job allows me to daily interact with countless moms who have found an inventive way to earn money from home. They have risen above the challenges of economy and started companies and invented products. They are remarkable, and they are what America is about. America is not about expecting someone else to always float our boat.

It would be nice to have free medical care. Who wouldn't love that? We've rarely had any health insurance during our marriage, and it is true - lots of things get let go. But it isn't my government's job to make sure I have it.

Bill and I have never owned a home. We chose not to get ourselves in over our head when the housing market was high and lenders were offering us no money down. We chose to wait until we could do it on reasonable terms. Now our taxes will go to bail out our fellow citizens who didn't choose so wisely. Because after all, shouldn't the government choose that we all get to bail out anyone who is having trouble?

The T-shirt pictured here is a real-live shirt I saw at Wal-mart this summer, during the seasonal 4th of July sales. It is a shameful, disgrace to the heart of America. It says what far too many Americans really do believe in their hearts, "It's all about me!"

Our nation is in dire trouble when we choose to make everything about us. I want healthcare! I want lower taxes! I want you to promise me a job! I want you to bail out my mortgage! I want you to be responsible for my investments and my retirement! I want you to pay for my education. I want. I want! I WANT! Do what you have to. I don't care who pays for it. I don't care if you kill unborn children, if you open our nation to attack from terrorists, if you allow gay marriage, if you indoctrinate our children into all believing that they came from nothing and therefore life has little value. I just want the promise of more dollars in my pocket.

To me this election is the time when Christians make a choice. They make a choice to vote for their own way, or for God's way. You may think I'm over-simplifying things. But sometimes that is just the way it has to be. Why? Because God is pretty simple sometimes. He says, "Honor me, and I will honor you." He promises blessings and prosperity and healing on the nation that honors Him and chooses to do things His way. You cannot improve your personal situation by choosing to be bigger than God and test what He says is proven.

So...get past the hype. Get past the media, the hub-bub, and the message of your peers. Get on your knees and ask God what the right choice really is.

Don't vote for yourself. Vote for the freedom, prosperity, and blessing of your nation!

...and right here at the end, I'm tempted to apologize for my soapbox and promise not to do it often. But you know what? It's my blog! Tonight, I'm going to say what I think, and if it makes you mad, you can take it up with me later. I'll be happy to have the discussion.

So to lighten the mood, I'll end with a joke...well, I'm not sure it is a joke. But it is funny.

On CNBC today, a Democratic operative pointed out that when

Obama holds a rally 25-30,000 people show up; whereas when

McCain holds one he only draws 10-15,000.

The Republican spokesman replied, without skipping a beat

'That's because McCain's supporters are at work.'

At that point, the interview promptly ended!

...and I really wish I could have posted this sooner, but I've been busy working because that is what Americans do when hard times hit - they work harder. They don't sit around finding new people to blame or beg to make up the difference for them.

Contest Announcement!

We started a new contest at our house this morning! It is the weekly bathroom cleaning contest. The winner will be picked each Saturday and will have the privilege of cleaning the whole bathroom by themself. Competitors earn points all week by leaving their items out on the bathroom floor, counter, etc. Points are marked randomly as judges (mom and dad) feel the spontaneous need to inspect the bathroom. One point will be awarded for each sock, pair of underware, toothbrush, toy, etc. left out in the bathroom. The contestant with the most points on Saturday morning wins the privilege of adding the bathroom cleaning to their bedroom cleaning.

Good luck, and God bless!

No Matter Who Wins

Before I post some other things on my mind about the election, I want to remind myself and everyone else about some timeless truths. A friend e-mailed these tonight, and I really want to share!

Top Ten Predictions, No Matter Who Wins The Election

This is something we can count on ... now relax, and go vote.
There will still be room at the Cross.
Jesus will still save the lost when they come to Him.
Jesus will still love you.
The Bible will still have all the answers.
There will still be faithful Bible teachers.
The Holy Spirit will still fill and control believers who name their sins.
Prayer will still work.
There will still be singing of praise to God.
God will still pour out grace blessings upon His people.
Jesus Christ will still control history!
AND GOD APPROVES THIS MESSAGE!
ISN'T IT GREAT TO KNOW WHO IS REALLY IN CHARGE?

Ups and Downs and In Betweens

Today was the day I've feared for years. The day I would get on the golf course for the first time - not just to walk or ride in the cart - but to actually play. I wasn't afraid of the course or the clubs or the game. I was afraid of myself. I was afraid I would like it. My fears were confirmed. You see, golf is expensive, and I have known all along that we couldn't afford for more than one of us to enjoy the hobby. However, since I can now enjoy free golf and club rental, I can no longer use that excuse. So for this summer, I simply told Bill that he better not let me play because I might be better than him. Well...I wasn't today, but there is still potential.

Today started out with our usual pancakes, but Daddy was home! (The first Sunday morning we've had with him in awhile.) Then we loaded up to enjoy an employee golf day at the course, since the course closed yesterday for the season. I didn't make it to the van, though, before I experienced one of my favorite things ever. I wish I could post video here. Today was the day that the leaves decided to fall. It was like rain. They just sprinkled down. The sun was shining. Our whole yard was glowing gold. I just stood there under the trees with my eyes closed and listened to the drop all around me. Then I filmed a little. In the van, we tried to think of a good name for the day that the leaves fall. It was narrowed down to "American Fall" and "Falltastic!"

We played a few holes of golf with the kids. One of my other favorite sounds besides raining leaves, raining drops, and the patter of little feet across the floor, is the sound of the metal face of a club striking the ball. The sound is even sweeter when you make it yourself! We had a great time!

By the time we got home, our lawn was thick with gold leaves. Riley brought a friend home and all the boys raked for awhile, so they could have jumping piles.

This week has been a big mixture of emotions. I've seen God's tenderness and and blessings, and we've begun to also prepare for hard times. The week begun by finding out that I will begin working from home very soon. That is good news for me, mostly. I will miss spending the day with the girls. But I will not miss the commute or the gas usage. It will be nice to not have to take a day off when kids get sick, and to have an extra hour and a half or so in my day.

I went to the dentist this week. My mouth always seems to baffle and amaze the dental community. This week was no exception. There are thousands of dollars of periodontal work that needs done on my mouth. But it is painful, time consuming, and expensive...and in the past has not been very successful. This week, however, God provided something I'd been praying for - but not with much faith. I'd been praying, but not really expecting it would really happen. The dentist mentioned that he was in a periodontal study group and thought my mouth would be a good test case. He offered to present my case and felt that if I was willing to have lots of dentist look at pictures and discuss the case, and be involved in the work - that we could probably get the rest of it done for pretty much the cost of the supplies!! Wow! Thank you, Jesus!

I also got a treat in the mail this week. I was thinking all week how bad I needed a haircut. I haven't had one since probably January or so. The Lord didn't just provide a haircut, but a gift certificate for a haircut AND a pedicure - from the sweet friend who cut my hair last. I was amazed.

...and then the downs...The golf course was instructed by the resort owner to make severe cuts. The mall store will not happen this Christmas, and Bill is laid off already. We weren't sure it would happen at all this year, and certainly not until after Christmas. We are praying through our options, and would appreciate your prayers too.

The Weekend

You know you are out of touch with the world of an 18mos older when you turn around to wipe off the table, and the little stinker crawls up to the computer and downloads a google desktop and changes your home page. WHAT!!??

This weekend my husband gave me a gift…one that I’m not sure he even understands the value of. For the last several weeks, I have spent my entire Saturdays cleaning. This week, however, was our home inspection and lease signing - on Friday. So my husband cleaned the whole house on Friday, since he was off work! So not only did the house look great, but it felt like I actually got a day off. I spent my Saturday being social, which is something I have very little time for these days. I babysat for a couple of friends, dropped in and out of another friend’s for her daughter’s birthday party, ran some errands with my oldest and enjoyed that quality time with him, popped into a friend’s coffee shop, visited Bill at work, helped some other friends unload their moving truck, had lunch with family, went for a bike ride, and made dinner for afore mentioned friends that were moving. It was great!

Another place to listen to Angela Muse....

I've been invited to guest blog for Mom 4 Life. My first post was published today right here.

Why do I convince myself?

It was Wednesday afternoon. I get off work early two days a week and decided I would take advantage of this to take my kids to the largest pumpkin patch around - the Walmart parking lot. I know it isn't as sentimental as loading up and going to your local farm and buying apple dumplings, taking hay rides, and having your picture made with a scarecrow. BUT the price of gas - and pumpkins with a prestigous farm pedigree are something to consider. So off we went. For $3.25 each, my kids got to pick out whatever pumpkin they wanted. Of course we had to dig to the very, very, bottom of several boxes just to make sure they hadn't passed up the best option, but in 15 minutes time, we were done!

However, inside the store it wasn't so easy. I just needed a couple of things, but an hour and a half later, I was convinced that I would probably indeed starve to death inside my local Walmart store.

Every time I started to the checkout line, one of my considerate children reminded me of something else that we REALLY needed or something I PROMISED I would get the next time I went to the store. They were usually right.

The real trouble started, though, when I got in line. If you happened to catch an unruly child break-dancing in the floor of the checkout line on Wednesday night at the Post Falls Walmart, you know where I was. The boys were being good, but let's face it. Noone should stand in line that long. It was a good thing that I wasn't buying any camping supplies, or I probably would have just started setting up a site right there in line just to make a point. In fact, I think we could have probably carved our pumpkins before we left the store.

The really sad part, was that Bill had graciously gone for dog food earlier in the day, so that I wouldn't have to take all the kids to the store.

Sigh.

You know you have boys when....

You find a bag of crickets in your freezer.
You realize that the crickets are for the snake in a box full of pine needles in the bedroom.
Every.time. you go in the bathroom, you flush for someone else, pick up the bathmat and wipe toothpaste off the counter.
You are the designated bug removal person at work.
Your van smells like a locker.
You don't bother throwing away socks until there is less of them, than more.
You realize that you no longer understand things like nail polish, jewelry, and matching purses.
You have to BEG your kids to PLEASE use a Kleenex!!

Well...those are just a few.

I also decided today, while driving around town, that it would be difficult to run for public office with a name like Boggess. I know its not spelled the same, but it just makes me laugh everytime I see it....not a good sign when trying to win vote.

Sleepover

It's funny the kind of things you wish for when you think of your kids getting older. One thing I've always looked forward to was everyone jammying up and snuggling down all over the living room for a family movie - that everyone would actually sit and watch. We've started a Friday night tradition of doing just that. After church we pop in the movie that arrived the day before by Netflix, and snuggle down to watch an old classic or lesser known movie from the Christian media circle. Last night we all fell asleep - in the living room - all six of us!

We woke up this morning and the boys were going back and forth, marveling how we all fell asleep in there and slept there all night. They started accusing each other of things.

Riley: Ian, when I woke up, you were snoring bad.
Ian: No, I wasn't!
Riley: Yes, you were!
Ian: Well, if I was, I was just kidding.

From the Kids

"I hate Donald McRonald. He's so ridiculous." -Riley

Ian: 100 is the most boring age, because you just die.
Mom: But going to heaven isn't boring.
Ian: Yeah, but you have to lay in the ground for at least a day, because it's not like "doo-doo-doo and your done!"

Talking through Riley's discipleship homework with him about God having a purpose for our life...."For when David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep..." Acts 13:36

Mom: What do you think that means Riley?
Riley: Well after awhile of obeying God, David got really tired and went to sleep.

The sky was literally striped tonight with purple, pink, orange, and blue. The air was crisp and perfect - weather like June. The kids made an obstacle course in the yard with a shovel, a ramp, a snowboard, two tires, etc. They raced and practiced jumping the tires and shovel and running around the tree. I love their inspiration.

I love how God loves on my kids. As I watch Riley thrive in school, I'm over and over again reminded how much more God loves my kids than I do. I can't even believe the incredible opportunities he has, and the encouragement he is receiving.

Clayton gathered this morning at his flagpole with many other students for the annual "See You At the Pole." It's not that it is unique. Lots of schools were doing it, but it was unique that his public school had posters hanging all over the place to advertise it (right next to the Revolve Tour posters. SYATP was even in the list of daily announcements e-mailed to the parents. Our conversation on the way home revolved around what they prayed for, the songs they sang while someone played guitar, and how it gave Clayton the strength to face the day with some absurd science theories.

Bill's hours are beginning to shorten as the golf season comes to a close. We are grateful that I am working now to help compensate. God knows our needs - our needs for humility, purpose, provision, and hope. He is good - all the time!

Fall - Falling Upon Us

This afternoon was almost perfect! The air was a cool 59 degrees, but the sun was bright and warm. Clayton gave the lawn one last pre-frost trim. Riley finished selling his school coupon books by visiting many of our neighbors. Ian and Hayden looked for treasure on the "clift" with their friend, Austin. I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floors with all the doors open, so the fresh fall breeze could blow through. There is a special way the sun shines this time of year. There is a special thrill that comes from seeing the apples begin to blush on the trees and hearing the children laugh and play outside over the hum of the mower. Soup for supper. Cuddling up on the couch to read books. All I'm missing is a new Pumpkin Spice candle. :D

I'm learning to embrace each simple moment like this as life gets busier and busier. I'm enjoying love gifts sent to me by my Heavenly Father - like a chance meeting with a friend that led to a day of fun with our kids together. We'd been trying to plan something for months, and couldn't work it out on our own. I enjoyed a divine weekend of rest at our women's retreat last weekend. I treasure every moment in the bookstore or library. It's a new season around here in lots of ways, and I'm praying I'll embrace the season God has for us - just as I excitedly embrace fall!

First Day of School

We have a lot of new things brewing around here. As of this week, we're adapting to a whole new lifestyle and set of schedules. One of us drives afternoon carpool. One of drops of kids in the morning and gets everyone ready to go. I'm working. The kids are all at school. I was supposed to have jury duty yesterday, but THANK GOD it was cancelled, because I didn't finish settling everyone into classes until 9:15. I guess there would have been a warrant out for my arrest or something. LOL!



I'm sure things will settle as time goes on. Last night I spent probaby two hours filling out all the paperwork the kids brought home from school.



Clayton has transitioned from "determined to hate school" to "not loving it, but not hating it", which I suppose is progress. I think it will get better as time goes on.



When I got home, Riley grabbed me and hugged me and said, "I LOVE my school!" Yeah! I'm so glad.



Ian was very quiet last night, but still seemed positive. I think it was attributed to being without his blanket for an entire day and realizing that maybe first grade wasn't just an organized play group with lunch in the cafeteria.



Hayden also said he had a good time. His little friend Isaac, who lives at the bottom of the driveway, is in his class. That was an automatic comfort factor.

Overall, we all survived the first day!

In the midst of all the change, though, I cannot describe the peace and excitement in my heart. First of all, I think it is just the result of obedience. Putting all my kids in school and going to work is not something I would have ever saw myself doing. I remember telling Bill, before we were married (while we were discussing how important it was that I was home with our future children), that the day I had to drop one of my kids off at daycare, I would probably fall apart. Well, I didn't fall apart. I didn't even cry once. I honestly wasn't sad. I know we are doing what God has asked us to do at this time in our life - and THAT is the best thing for our kids - just watching mom and dad obey and be filled with the peace that passes understanding.

In my quiet times recently (which seems to be the only personal thing I have time for), I've been enjoying the writings of Corrie ten Boom. I read her biography several years ago, but this is more like a journal. Talk about deep. Yesterday, I read her thoughts on worry.

We imagine that a little anxiety and worry are indications of how wise we are. We think we see the dangers of life clearly. In reality, however, our fears are only an indication of how wicked we really are.

As Charles G. Trumbull says,

Worry is sin; a black, murderous, God-defying, Christ-rejecting sin; worry about anything, at any time whatever. We will never know victory over worry and anxiety until we begin to treat it as sin. For such it is. It is a deep-seated distrust of the Father, who assures us again and again that even the falling sparrow is in His tender care.

The words fear not occur many times in the Bible. The Word of God has no suggestions, only commandments. So if we fear and worry, we are being disobedient, and disobedience is always a sin.

The only way blunders and destruction can occur in our lives is when we forget to trust God. When we take things into our own unskilled hands, we get them knotted and tangled.

Worry is utterly useless. It never serves a good purpose. It brings no good results. One cannot think or see clearly when worrying. Let pagans worry if they will, but we must not, for we have a living Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ, and His conquering power. His victory can be our victory. Life at best is brief, and there is so much to be accomplished. If we must burn ourselves out, let us burn out for God.

In this age of increasing pace, it is easy to follow the crowd and let materialism become our god. But if we do, too often we find that worry and tension bcome our masters. The effects of tension are seen in all spheres of life. Tension leads to inefficiency and frayed nerves with our fellow workers and students; in politics to strain in international relations and fears of war. In the home, tension leads to irritability with our husband or wife, destroying the very thing God meant to be perfect.

She goes on to talk about her time in concentration camps. This wasn't written by a millionaires wife, but by one whose family sacrificed greatly for God's people. She served years in concentration camps, watched her sister die there, spent time in solitary confinement....all for hiding Jews from the murderous Nazis.

I think if she can learn to trust God, I can too.

What We're All Doing

Boy, life just doesn't slow down - and while I'd like to just sit here and write and write, I thought I'd at least take a minute to post a bit about what we are all going to be doing this fall - which starts Monday.

Bill
Bill will continue working as a pro at The Coeur d'Alene Resort Golf Course and letting his leg heal. He is back at work, but pretty sore and swollen when he gets home each day.


Angela
I will be the new customer service representative for Mom 4 Life, working part time. Bill and I will both be juggling car pools, drop offs, and pick ups for the kids. I will also continue to be involved in women's ministry at Real Life and writing when I can. Oh! and the first week that all the kids are in school, I have jury duty. Yeah! This is probably the biggest change for our family, as I've been home full time with the kids for over eleven years and homeschooling off and on in there as well.

Clayton
Clayton is starting sixth grade on Monday at Coeur d'Alene Charter Academy, which is a college prepatory school. It was recently rated in the top half of the top one percent of the nation's high schools. It is a public school, but state-funded, rather than district funded. He will be wearing uniforms. Right now, he is determined to hate the whole thing, but we are very excited for this opportunity and trust his heart will change as time goes.

Riley and Ian
Riley will be in third grade and Ian will in first grade at Sorenson Magnet School, which is also a public school. It emphasizes art, music, theatre, and humanities. The boys will be also wearing uniforms and going to school an extra hour a day, compared to other public elementaries. The pictures you saw in a previous post from Art on the Green showed the boys juggling, balancing on balls, etc...all at a booth sponsored by their school.

Hayden
Hayden will be going to preschool at Noah's Ark Learning Center four days a week and staying with Daddy on Fridays. :D He's very excited about the playground, and his new naptime gear. He got to go to the fabric store with mom and pick stuff for new pillow and blankets for school.



The kids are all very excited. We've taken special time each day to help them all label their backpacks and school supplies and get everything loaded. We've sharpened over 60 pencils and steamed and hung all the uniforms.





Tonight will be haircuts!
Whew!

Good News!

We got the lab report today, and Bill is cancer free! It was simply a ganglion cyst behaving strangely. We'll take it! Thank you Jesus!

He is pretty sore still, but will try to return to work tomorrow.

The World Keeps Turning

It is 10 p.m. I'm finally sitting down. It is nice to sit and read so many e-mails encouraging us and assuring us of your prayers and love and support. Friends have brought meals and helped with kids, and we are so grateful.

Today I did middle school orientation with Clayton, registration at two different elementaries (since Ian is still on the waiting list at the school Riley is going to), four dental appointments, and ordered glasses. I went through the day feeling I could cry at any moment, but just kept plugging through it all - almost too busy to think. One friend prayed with me at orientation, several called throughout the day. It helps so much to keep my heart focused pouring out to Jesus.

As I'm blogging, Bill is gleefully raising his leg in the air and cheering at himself. He is wiggling his toes and almost got them crossed! Any movement and feeling is encouraging. Yeah!

It's All Going to Be O.K.

The doctor had said it would be about a 45 minute procedure. One hour passed, then one and a half, and then two. I sensed that something wasn’t going quite right. Spouse after spouse was called to join their loved ones in recovery, but not me. Then it was my turn, but instead of being summoned to recovery. A staff member asked another staff member to please escort me to a consult room. My heart sunk. The halls seemed very long. I felt the undersized room could swallow me up while I sat and waited for the surgeon to finish up and join me. I wished I had someone holding my hand. My teeth began to chatter. I just knew the events of the day had not gone as anticipated, and I really didn’t know what to expect next. I just knew my heart needed to prepare for the next thing.

When I was still in the waiting room, Bill’s mom and I were watching an episode of 7th Heaven where a sweet, older lady was assuring the mom that “It would all be o.k.” That the death of her mom, her husband’s heart attack, her children’s rebellion, her father’s recent Alzheimer’s diagnosis, would not define the quality of her life. It would all be o.k. In the last year, God has taught me that the phrase “It’s all going to be o.k.” can have many different meanings and interpretations. I’ve learned that “being o.k.” may have nothing to do with the outcome of the circumstances. It simply means that God’s character doesn’t change. He is still always strong. He is still always loving. He is still always faithful, and He is still the provider of the peace that passes all understanding. So no matter the hardships, no matter the blows, it can all be o.k.

So I sat there asking God for the strength to handle another blow, to be able to take the next steps in whatever journey had been planned, no matter how difficult things might be.

The doctor explained that he had removed the cyst, but that it wasn’t exactly like they’d thought. It had the appearance of a ganglion cyst. It came on fast like a ganglion cyst. But a ganglion cyst usually comes off a tendon. This mass was coming out of the nerve. It had split the nerve, was growing around the nerve, in the nerve, and following the nerve. There was concern that it might in fact be a schwannoma tumor. A ganglion cyst is always benign. A schwannoma tumor might be benign, but it might not be. A schwannoma tumor has the tendency to turn malignant even if it starts out as benign. He said there was about a one in ten chance that we were looking at something more serious. He explained that if it did turn out to be a schwannoma tumor that a neurosurgeon would need to go back in and use his ultra high-powered microscope to scrape the nerve completely clean of any trace of contaminated cells….and we should know all of this in as little as

72 hours.

The room felt cold. My head felt dark. My heart felt alone and cradled in the Father’s hands all at the same time. Teeth chattering and insides shaking, I delivered the report to Bill’s parents and then mine and then a few others and then to Bill. He embraced me and said those predictable words, “It’s all going to be o.k.”

Wal-mart didn’t have his prescriptions ready. I found myself wandering around the store piling things into my arms - frozen peas for ice packs, a cold water bottle for Bill (who was waiting in the van). I didn’t even know what I was looking for. I was in a fog. My dear friend Santha hopped on the interstate and met me at Wal-mart to give me a hug and wait for the prescriptions. She asked me what I was thinking, and I confessed. Honestly, nothing about this year has been for sure or miraculous or a big, positive answer to prayer. Time after time, the answer is no. Time after time, we’re called to deal with the worst possibility. My confession: I no longer expect God to do something big and miraculous for us. I expect to face the worst. It isn’t that I don’t believe God *can* do big. It just seems to be the year where we follow Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego in saying, “Our God has the power to save us…but even if he doesn’t…..” It has been the year of echoing Hezekiah in saying, “Even though there are no cattle in the stalls, and no grain in the fields…I will still praise you.”

We have come to accept that it can all be o.k. - even though it is horrible. But today, I am forced to wrap my mind around the horrible. I wish I could be one who didn’t think about the worst until we had all the answers, but it just isn’t me.

A friend of mine has been blogging about the recent death of her newborn son and how she is having to work through feelings of resentment and envy towards those that are having babies and carrying babies and announcing pregnancies. I can relate to those feelings in the small moments that others tell me about God’s miraculous answers to their prayers. They tell stories of having the elders pray, and God miraculously healed. Not Bill. They tell stories of taking requests to God and how he came through in a bigger way than they even expected. I would be completely ungrateful to act as if God never comes through for us, but I’ll admit…I have taken a hard swallow time after time at the good news of my friends, and chosen to rejoice with them out of obedience…inside wondering why all of the miracles seem to elude us.

I know that God is doing things behind the scenes that we don’t even see, that there are miracles He’s doing that we don’t even know we need. I know that He is always faithful, and that He is always loving, and that He is strong and powerful and mighty to save. But today, the truths of God’s Word and our feelings collide and need the opportunity and the time to learn to cooperate with each other.

So last night we returned 1,000 phone calls. I drug the down mattress that I’ve been trying to sell up the stairs so I could cozy up as close to Bill’s couch as possible. He lovingly worked on a knot in my back while we watched gymnastics, and tears streamed down my face. We didn’t sleep well.

…and today begins. Middle school orientation, registrations at two elementary schools, four dentist appointments, and waiting. I’d rather just stay cozied up to Bill today holding on to the preciousness of each moment. But life moves on. The world moves on.

…and it’s all going to be o.k.

Bill's leg

Bill will be having surgery on Monday to remove a ganglion cyst from his left leg. They will have to open him up about two inches, but it should be an outpatient procedure with a couple of days of keeping his leg up. However, removing the cyst will not automatically restore the nerve. The paroneal nerve has sustained damage, and the doctor said it could take up to six months for it to heal completely and give Bill the full use of his leg/foot. So Bill is wearing a brace/support to keep his foot stable right now and will continue to do so until the nerve heals.

We appreciate your prayers for him. Also, the insurance company is doing all they can to prove this is pre-existing and not have to cover anything. So we'd really appreciate your prayers regarding that - especially since this process has been completely innefficient, racking up bills that weren't necessary in the first place.

Rediscovering

"You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!" Psalm 68:35

This morning I had to pause and simply thank God once again for the beautiful place in which we live. When I was single, I had the luxury of hiking up the mountain behind my parents' house on the mountain with our loyal, guard dog, Harley to spend time with God. I had a special place that I went each time. It was my secret meeting place with the lover of my soul. I rarely took anyone there. I took Bill there once to "define the relationship" when one of us (clears throat - namely, me) had stronger feelings and hopes than the other. After God changed Bill's heart, he took me back there and proposed. It was a sacred place to me. Holy Ground. God had healed many a wound there and showered many rhemas upon me. I found strength there. I found peace there. I could take an afternoon nap there when I had been unable to sleep at night.

About five years ago, or so, that "mountain" became a development. Bill and I walked up to my "place" and found "my" log. It was in the back yard of a future home. We wished we could buy the lot, but it was not to be. We took a piece of the log, a few pictures and left. I couldn't go back there anymore. Where would my next "place" be?

This morning I sat on my porch, backed up to the mountain on my newly renovated and cushioned furniture. I watched two hummingbirds dart around my flowers. A momma robin perched herself in the top of the apple tree with a six-legged creature in her mouth. With muffled chirps, she tried to call someone else to join her for breakfast. I had intended to be reading my Bible, but couldn't help just throwing my head back and letting my face soak in the sun while my soul soaked in the whole experience. I have a very special place - every day. One where I can remember the things I loved in my youth before life got so complicated.

This spring and summer, God has been doing some heart surgery. One of the loving things He's done has stripped away caloused layers of my heart and helped me remember the things that have always brought me joy.

I have rediscovered my love for the beauty of the outdoors. I have rediscovered my joy in being creative- painting, sewing, crafting. I tend to escape to the fabric store just to touch the fabrics and dream about what they could be. I notice people's unique clothes everywhere I go and long to make my sewing machine hum again. I have rediscovered the Balzer passion for shoes. O my!









I have rediscovered my love for taking pictures and really miss my good camera!

Bill borrowed and i-pod to bring home and "give" me a song (Where You Are by Rascal Flatts) after his rough day on the course, Monday. I redisovered my love for pumping loud music into my head with headphones and rockin' like a rock star in front of the mirror with the bedroom doors closed! :D

It is good to be alive.

I will call on Him...

"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." Psalm 116:1-2

Sometimes, in the depth of pain and confusion, there is only One Who can soothe - One Who really understands, One Who can reach the depths of my heart and make sense of the rubble. It is the One Who designed my heart in the first place. He knows where everything should go. He knows what order things need to be on the shelves. He knows what needs repaired, what needs tossed, what needs soothed, what needs hammered into shape. Friends try. They want to understand every part of you. They want to help. They want to encourage - and often do. But sometimes there are parts of your heart that can only be poured out to One.

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:7

He is the one who can put a soul at rest, the One Who the woman desparate to be filled with that precious inner beauty can trust to still when she cannot still herself.

This has been one such week when I have needed to fall into the arms of the "stiller" of my soul. Bill did not pass his playing tests. Honestly, it was a shot in the dark with his leg being in the condition it was. But with childlike faith, I trusted God to show his power in Bill's weakness. I know God has other plans, and it will all work out, and all that jazz...but for 24 hours or so, I needed to plunge deeply into the truth of what God says about Himself. Because my feelings said it was all pointless.

Bill was tired by the 12th hole of the first round. During the second round, he rolled his ankle and was really grinning and bearing it for the rest of the time. It isn't the end of the world, but does end some hopes for this season. His leg needs to heal.

Today the results of the MRI confirmed a cyst in Bill's knee joint. He has now been referred to an orthopedic surgeon to get things squared away. He has lost some muscle mass, so we will be looking at some healing and therapy time.

When I sat down last night and opened my spiral verse book, I was reminded of the verse God gave me on Sunday:

"For the Word of the Lord is true; He is faithful in all He does." Psalm 33:4

We can trust that God is faithful, even when He doesn't make sense.

"O my Strength, I watch for you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God."

We can trust that God is still strong and loving in all He does, even when He doesn't answer our way.

"I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me." Psalm 57:2

We can trust that God will fulfill His purposes for us, even when we think our best options have failed.

Those are all verses God has given me in the last week, written one by one, day by day in my little spiral notebook. What benefit and joy there is to daily seeking Him.

...and then this morning, after a couple of days of recounting the repeated dissappointments of the last couple of years - wondering when we'll ever get a break.

"For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance." Psalm 66:10-12

The writer does something here, that I am too weak to do. He praises God first. It is obedience. It is right. It is what our God deserves. For me, I have to read verses 10-12 before I can wholeheartedly claim verses 8-9.

"Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping." Psalm 66:8-9

He has. Oh, He has! Someday, I'll learn to praise Him first!

Updates and Fun Stuff!

Bill went to see a surgeon on Thursday who let us know that he really needed an MRI of Bill's leg. Ya think? Isn't that why we've been calling for four days to see if you needed one before we came? Wouldn't it have been more efficient to MRI the leg at the same time as the back? That is medical efficiency at work for you! So anyway, Friday, Bill finally was able to establish as a new patient at a regular doctor's office. He had a full exam, blood work, x-rays, etc. We don't have the results to everything yet, but basically know that there is no other glaring health issues. He is really healthy - except his leg.

He is playing his PAT today in Moses Lake, WA, and will have an MRI tomorrow after work. Eventually we'll get there. God gave me two verses to give to Bill before he left. One being,

"One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving." Psalm 62:11-12a

and

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Berry Picking







Gas for a mountain drive: $40



Time in the hot sun: 4 hours


Time to treat berry-stained clothes: 30 minutes

Other ingredients: $5

Price for listening to children whine, "Can we go yet?": headache


Trying to duplicate mom's huckleberry cheesecake: priceless

We've also been to pick raspberries at a friend's house.





...and play at the local BMX track





...and went to Art on the Green, where we juggled, balanced on balls, painted, sculpted, and learned about the Chinese yo-yo!

A Meek and Quiet Spirit

Well, so much for getting back to "Captivating" the very next day. One reason it has taken me so long, is that I've literally been going page by page back through the book looking for a section I wanted to quote..and I CAN'T find it. I hate it when that happens!! But as I was going page by page, I realized how much of it I could quote. The book is overdue, and I really need to turn it in, but there is still so much I want to share. SO, if you're looking for something to read - this is a good one!!

Anyway, one of my favorite parts of this book is Stasi's explanation of the meek and quiet spirit that we are always so confused about. Stasi explains how she has always been an extrovert and a loud laugher - and felt defeated by the command to have a meek and quiet spirit. But further study into the verses helped her to understand that God never told us to have quiet personalities. He told us to have meek and quiet spirits. The meaning of "quiet" here comes from the Greek words "hed-rah'-yos" and "hay-soo'-khee-os", meaning: settled, steadfast, immovable, at rest, peacable spirit. We are told to be at rest in our spirits, to be settled, not striving. Wow! That is a much bigger challenge than just being outwardly quiet, but has much broader results in our actions. "Meek" is translated humble and mild. My favorite definition: "power under control."

The traditional church has often twisted this verse to stomp on women who are bold, extroverted, warriors - letting them know that we are supposed to be week and quiet. But that is a lie and a total misinterpretation of God's Word. He has not made every woman quiet or week. He has made many loud and strong. But loud and strong doesn't have to be opposite of humble and at rest. A woman who understands who God made her to be can be humble, keeping her power under control, and only using it for God's purposes - because she isn't inwardly striving herself. She is completely at rest and only brings out the big guns when God says it is time, and then only in humility and under God's control. Part of God's design was for women to be warriors. You can understand that when you really examine the anologies of the bride of Christ. The bride is under attack, and needs to be engaged in warfare.

I could go on and on. "Captivating" has answered so many internal question I've had personally, about a strong, woman living surrounded by the influence of big men and littlel men. I've struggled to look for the purpose in femininity and reconcile it with his design for my life. So many questions have been answered. It is powerful to replace the lies you have believed with truth.

More About "Captivating"

When God creates Eve, he calls her an ezer kenegdo. "It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]" (Gen. 2:18 Alter). Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is "notoriously difficult to translate." The various attempts we have in English are "helper" or "companion" or the notrorious "help meet." Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat...disappointing? What is a help meet anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing "One day I shall be a help meet?" Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Alter is getting close when he translates it "sustainer beside him."

The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately.

"There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you...

"Blessed are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword." (Deut. 33:26,29, emphasis added)

"May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help." (Ps. 33:20, emphasis added)

"We wait in hope for the Lord, he is our help and our shield." (Ps. 33:20, emphasis added)

"O house of Israel, trust in the Lord - he is their help and shield. O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord - he is their help and shield. You who fear him, trust in the Lord - he is their help and shield." (Ps. 115:9-11, emphasis added)

Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he is not there beside you...you are dead. A better translation therefore of ezer would be "lifesaver." Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.

You see, the life God calls us to is not a safe life. Ask Joseph, Abraham, Moses, Deborah, Esther - any of the friends of God from the Old Testament. Ask Mary and Lazarus; ask Peter, James, and John; ask Priscilla and Aquila - any of the friends of God in the New Testament. God calls us to a life involving frequent risks and many dangers. Why else would we need him to be our ezer? You don't need a lifesaver if your mission is to be a couch potato. You need an ezer when your life is in constant danger....

That longing in the heart of a woman to share life together as a great adventure - that comes straight from the heart of God, who also longs for this. He does not want to be an option in our lives. He does not want to be an appendage, a tagalong. Neither does any woman. God is essential. He wants us to need him - desperately. Eve is essential. She has an irreplaceable role to play. And so you'll see that women are endowed with fierce devotion, an ability to suffer great hardships, a vision to make the world a better place.

That is just one of my favorite quotes from "Captivating", by John and Stasi Eldredge, because it clears up the whole, muddled meaning of the help meet. It gives power and meaning to the role of a wife. God's purpose for us was never demeaning or second rate...neither is it controlling and emasculating. It is the perfect balance between humble servatude and fierce life-saving power. It is the realizing as Christ did (as Paul states in Philippians 2) that we know the glory God created woman for, but we're willing to humble ourselves (while resting sure in the confidence of who we are in Christ), serve, love unconditionally, and be an ezer kenegdo. We do it without fear or resentment because we know Who will take care of us, Who is responsible for us, and where our glory lies. Living with the constant reminder before us of what is waiting for us in eternity, gives us the ability to empower someone else to be the head of our homes - to do all we can to bolster his confidence and make him successful.

More tomorrow!

Quick Update

Bill will be seeing a surgeon today. The conclusion at this point is that he probably has a lypoma cyst behind his leg that is pinching off the paroneal nerve. So we need to get that removed.

Bill is also scheduled to do his PAT's (Player's Ability Tests) again on Monday in Moses Lake, WA. He *can* golf, but it is very tiring. He will need to play 36 holes. We've gone back and forth about backing out of it, but the design of this particular course is ideal for his game - and he really doesn't want to have to wait until next year. There are some pressing needs careerwise to pass it sooner.

SO! We would appreciate your prayers and will update you soon.

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A friend (aka "O") tipped me off today that she hadn't been receiving her blog subscriptions. I failed to mention on here that "blogarithm" recently was bought out. So, the e-mail address the subscriptions come from has changed. You may check your "junk/spam" folder for something coming from "RssFwd Daily Digest". That address will now be the one it is coming from, and you may need to add it to your address book, depending on how your spam filters work. Thanks for your patience!!

A Visit to the Neurologist

We went to see a neurologist today and have some test performed on Bill's leg. We have confirmed that there is a pinched nerve, whose lining is probably detoriating. His muscle still looks good. Those are both good news. However, we are caught in the middle-man loop of medicine where you have to go back to one guy to ask for a referral for the next thing, so he can refer the next thing, etc. We left feeling frustrated to not have treatment and recovery answers, but did leave with the hope of a full recovery. In fact the neurologist said many recover from this same thing completely on their own. If we are unable to make any headways with his progress in two weeks (or jump through all the hoops), he would like to redo the tests and compare the variances. So, that is that! - so far. In the meantime, we are just trying to keep him from tripping over himself and injuring other parts of his body.

He is taking his mind off things this afternoon by hitting the driving range with Clayton....which is actually hitting floating balls into the lake, marked by yardage buoy. By the way, if you'd like, you can check out the course Bill is "pro-ing" at by going to www.floatinggreen.com.

EXCUSE ME! I have a verse!

I didn't want to call the whole coffee shop to attention today and give a sermon, so I just went from mom to mom. I had a verse to share. Don't worry, I'm really not a total lunatic. I knew all the moms at the coffee shop. They were all MOPS friends gathered to escape the dreary weather day and have a little fellowship. About 2 a.m., after posting my "long update" on here, I needed to quiet my soul. My husband should never allow me to drink coffee with him at night. It doesn't do the same thing to me that it does to him. So anyway, the Psalms are always a good place to quiet my soul down, and I began to read, "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord." Psalm 113:9.

It struck me how often we forget who opened our wombs. How often we forget that he is the one that settled us in our homes with our children...and way too often we forget the happy part. We get so wrapped up in the daily that we forget the blessing. I'm with ya, sista! So today I've been praying for all my mom friends to be happy - not that life will all go perfectly and nothing will rock our boats, but that we will choose happiness - that we will dwell on the blessings and thank God for what he has given us. Praise the Lord!

Valley Hills VBS

Long Update

Gracious time flies! I keep jotting notes and taking pictures, hoping something interesting eventually.

I wanted to update everyone on Bill's leg. So far, he has had no real progress. He fell again on Sunday because he rolled his ankle. He came home swollen and had to ice it down. He will be seeing a neurologist on Thursday to do some further testing. It has pretty much been decided that it is the peroneal nerve that is being pinched. It just hasn't been determined exactly where or why. So that is what we are set to find out. We're so grateful that he has insurance as of June. He has been without for six years. God has really blessed in the timing of all of this. I cannot imagine if he were still trying to do tile and we didn't have any insurance to help with this. God's timing is perfect.

Meanwhile, he continues to practice swinging with the clubs he's settled on to continue with and keep preparing for the PAT's on August 4 in Moses Lake, barring any immediate surgeries, etc. God knows. We've also discovered that flip-flops do not work for him, since his foot only flops and has lost it's flip.

Family Updates

For a summer that had virtually nothing planned, boy has it been busy! We made a trip to my grandma's at the end of June (pictures already posted in an earlier post) to celebrate her 79th birthday and meet my dad for a little fishing with the boys. She lives on the Cascade Resevoir in Donnelly on a beautiful peninsula. The water was so high this year, that their "beach" was completely submerged, so we fished from the dock and went swimming at another part of the lake. It is always such a peaceful and restful place to go. I always feel like I'm staying at a posh resort for free. Where else can you sit in a big wooden chair on the deck, overlooking the lake, with your favorite book; have grandma's cooking; laugh 'til your sides hurt; go to bed early; and sleep in late? This visit brought a special treat as my Aunt Renee and cousins David and Hannah came up from Arizona. I hadn't seen them in about eight years, and David and Hannah are all grown up. We had a great visit!

I brought my brother Casey back with me for a week and a half and enjoyed some time with him. We did a little bit of driving lessons and had a great time!





THEN, we took Casey back to Springfield, Oregon, and spent a few days there. On the way, Casey and I hiked with all the boys to the top of Multnomah Falls. We usually stop there to stretch a little and sometimes hike to the bridge. But we'd never been to the top. It is only a mile up, but it is all uphill. It took about 2 hours to go up and back, but it was beautiful and very worth it. At the top the boys played in a creek for a while and cooled up before we headed back down.



In Springfield, we did our traditional visit to one of their city's indoor water parks, did a little yard-saling, and played lots of Facebook Scramble together. The biggest thing we did, though, was help start their VBS week. Mom and dad's church doesn't have a building, so they have to do their VBS in a park. Every night, they bring a U-haul to the park and unload and set up all their supplies and tear it all down at the end of the night. They have an amazing team, and it was really fun to work with all of them and witness their teamwork and excitement for what God is doing in their neighborhoods. This is the church that Bill and I have gone and done some small group training with, so we feel very connected with their growth and progress. I helped with registration the two nights I was there, and had a great time. They busted their attendance goal. The really cool thing is that the 5th and 6th grade class was the biggest. That is usually the age that VBS is becoming "uncool", but these kids just kept coming. Every one of them will be a middle-schooler next year. So God is really doing something there. (I'm going to post more pictures of it later.)





We came home, spent one night, and then headed up to Riley Creek between Sandpoint and Priest River to camp with Bill's parents for a couple of nights. It was nice to just have some time to sit and read. They boys went swimming while I sat and read. The boys practiced skateboarding moves while I sat by the road and read. The boys went to the playground to play while I sat and read. So nice. We also had great fun making s'mores each night.

Finally Home!
So this week, I've finally been tackling the house projects that have been left behind. I finished re-doing my patio furniture...and now really LOVE to sit out there. Hey! I even like to just look out the window and see it. It has been so long since I just did something creative - or sewed! It gives me a great since of accomplishment. I love the rustic, wood interior of our home, but sometimes wish I had a way to add more color. So I decided to start outside. :D I resigned any ambitions this year of a garden, and decided to settle for things I could maintain in individual pots. I'm really proud of my flowers, though. Even with all the trips, I haven't killed anything yet! (Well, others have helped me water when I've been gone, so It's not all me. :D)

Before Pics:












After Pics:















About Those Kids

So a little summer update about all the kiddos:






Clayton
You would never, ever know that Clayton was the smallest baby in the nursery. This kids is solid and getting bigger everyday. Last week we went and bought shoes...or was it a couple of weeks before...or, I know, it was BOTH! Good grief! He is built like his Papa Dan and could go against any beanpole twice his height. He also has really made our hearts pound this summer as his consciences seems to be awakening. It makes us so proud to see him come back and admit when he's blown it, and apologize on his own. Wow! He also has an affinity for driving. But for now, he'll have to settle for the riding mower - which he does with joy! I never thought it could be so easy to get some chores done around here. Ha! Ha! This morning he got up, got dressed, asked if he could please mow, mowed the whole yard, put away the mower, and then even closed up the garage. Then he sheepishly came in and grinned through his comments about loving to drive. He purchased and electric guitar with his birthday money, and his mom really needs to spend more time working with him on that. :P He also used the rest of his birthday money to put with four other bikes and trade them all in for a Redline. He is very proud of it, and has been biking most everywhere - when he's not skateboarding. It's really good to see him out and active like that.







Riley
Riley ended up with three stitches last month after simply running by something metal and catching his knee on it. He did fine with all the recovery, but did end up helping the doctor by pulling one of the stitches out himself. He said it just needed done because it was already loose and that part had already scabbed over. His latest thing is "body art". Often when I come upstairs in the morning, he has already piled his hair full of some goop and sculpted it into a "fauxhawk" or something similar. If he gets bored, I often find him drawing on his brothers' legs, arms, stomaches, etc. In a recent "Upwards" game, he asked the meaning of "mellow", to which Aunt Michelle replied, "The opposite of Riley." He grinned a little and said, "You mean, like, calm." When we played "Whoonu", Riley declared that his favorite thing ever was microwaves. Who knew? Aunt Michelle also overheard a bathtime conversation where he and Ian were re-playing a Spiderman 3 scene with their newly gifted-by-Uncle-Taylor-Marvel characters. Ian (playing Spiderman) asked Sandman (played by Riley) why he had to rob a bank to pay for his daughter's medical care. Why couldn't he just write a check. Sandman (aka Riley) tried to explain that you can't just write a check when you don't have any money. That would be wrong. (But somehow robbing the bank was better?) Riley amazes us at "Boggle". He finds words that others don't see and never mispells them. He never sees the three letter words. Just the long ones. He still loves music, and has finally asked me to start teaching him piano. YEAH!







Ian
I still miss his hair. What can I say? I really hope it grows fast. We went to the local BMX track yesterday, and Ian was able to get his newer bike all the way around the track and over all the jumps by himself. He was really proud! He is also a bit particular. He will only wear his BMX helmet for biking and will only wear his multi-purpose helmet for skating. He is amazing on a skateboard for such a little tike. He rarely falls, can turn in a full circle, do an ollie, flip the board off his feet and land on it. He is our boy who goes through stages, and fully immerses in each one. Right now we are between skateboards and the new Marvel action figures from Uncle Taylor. I love watching his creativity and role-play.







Hayden
Hayden rode his bike all the way home from Aunt Michelle and Uncle Jonathan's house last night...with Aunt Michelle. He is getting so big. He is built like Clayton - solid as a rock. He is still definitely the baby and likes his hugs and snuggles. He is going through a horrible scream-to-get-my-way stage right now, so that isn't a lot of fun. But in the meantime, his freckles just make your heart swell. We're sure he sprouts a couple of new ones each night. He really likes to draw letters right now. His mom should really work with him some more on that. He is always drawing a bunch of letters and asking me what it spells. Usually it doesn't spell a thing, but occasionally, he'll luck out and spell something like "ham." It is very exciting. :D



We're enjoying having Taylor home for the summer. He's hung around a lot and even taken the nephews on outings. We went huckleberry picking together last weekend. In his honor, we had a big family game night last weekend as well. There is nothing like laughing with my brothers...unless it is laughing with my dad and his sisters. Oh, gracious, they're all nuts!

Well, it's 1:15 a.m., and I'm finally finishing this...which is why I haven't gotten around to it much lately. :P