Ang Grams: May 2009

She was speaking in a soft, sing-song voice, and I suddenly felt like a first
grader again. I tried to focus on what she was saying; her personal testimony
was interesting, and many in the room, indlucing me, were moved to tears. But
then she began to tell us how we can become more
godly women, and I once
again found myself tunig out. It's not that I disagreed with her
scripturally based instruction, and I honestly wasn't trying to find fault
with her delivery style........but I kept waiting for her to say something that
would compel me to think about God as something besides a deity who wanted me to
be a...quiet woman.

Several months later, I attended a very differnt
kind of women's conference. This one was sponsored by a high-profile secular
university and had several corporate cosponsors....the speaker I was listening
to was articulate and spoke in a firm, commanding voice, but her message
troubled me. She told us she had been given the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
to
meet a celebrity she had always admired....he gave her some advice, and
she couldn't wait to tell her husband about what had happened. ....he told her
the celebrity probably told everyone the same thing....."You know what I did? I
divorced him!" The room broke out in spontaneous
applause.....

I
realized I do not fit into either group of women. I am not a quiet, unassuming
woman who is content to simply blend in and become the silent partner for her
husband's success. Neither am I a loud, in-you-face female who believes men need
to be conquered and put in their place. I do have a strong will and firm
convictions. I'm not afraid to speak my mind, and when I am committed to
accomplishing a goal, I'll move heaven and earth to get the job done. I've
gotten in trouble more than once for being too pushy, and I've unintentionally
offended others who thought I simply railroaded them into doing what I wanted.,
I am not afraid to take risks, and I don't have much patiencde for people who
won't try to make their lives better without depending on someone else to do it
for them.

That was just part of the intro of the book I just finished by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias: Redefining the Strong-Willed Woman.

I so needed this book at this time in my life. It didn't have as much Biblical content explaining God's view on the topic that I would have liked to have read. It was more one of those books that I could read knowing that there was someone else out there that could put words to my state of mind...someone that "got me."

This book brought up some wonderful points, and here are some of the things it got me thinking about:

When a strong-willed woman surrenders herself to God, she doesn't become week-willed and quiet as she matures. She simply becomes strong in God's will, rather than her own. She will go to the death for the cause of Christ and willingly lay herself down. She will hold her tongue in her personal defense, but would willingly confront the President if He assaulted the name of Christ.
Where the liberal church has thrown out the roles of the sexes altogether, the conservative church has overly defined them. Many mistakes have been made in deciding what the personality of a woman and the personality of a man should entail. In the effort to encourage woman to be feminine, we have told her how to behave, how to feel, what interests to enjoy, and definitely where to serve. By encouraging the man to be masculine, we have told him how to lead, where to lead, how to roar and what he should be hunting on his day off.

Based on that last point. Where exactly do some go for encouragement and mentoring? -when the husband is quiet, gentle, artistic, and musical -when he would rather golf than hunt, go for a drive than play tug-of-war, or sing in the choir than ever speak in public. Is he not masculine? Mine sure is!!

What about the wife? the one that REALLY wants her own hand gun and can't stand the thought of having her nails done...the one that cannot get into scrapbooking, doesn't even save her kids' teeth, and chases trespassers off her property...the one who has spoken in front of audiences of thousands and is thrilled when people just "get to the point!" Can she not still be feminine?

I think for years I've confused my feelings of "not knowing how to be a girl" with the simple fact that I didn't understand that my personality had nothing to do with being a girl. God made me who I am. I've spent most of my life trying to understand why He would make me this way if it was against His will....and I think I now get it. It's not against His will. Duh! (slaps self on forehead).

Meek (strength under control) and Quiet Spirit (at rest) is far from weak and quiet (mouthed).

Hayden: "Dear Jesus. Thank you for my mommy and that she is beautiful and that she'll be beautiful tomorrow." Pause. "Mommy, will you be beautiful tomorrow?"

Me: I don't know. What do I need to do to be beautiful?

Hayden: Wear a dress and jory (jewerly) and stuff.
-------------------------
Riley gave me a pen drawn picture recently that said, "You smell like a Magnolia tree."

On Mother's day, Riley gave me a placemat that said "You are beautiful like a flower."
-------------------------
Riley: We learned Spanish today. You know how you say Buddy in Spanish? Lobo! If you want to tell him to come here, you say, "Lobo! Banah-cah!"

Mom: Hon, I think it is ven aqui! (bane ah-key)

Riley: Noooo! Its NOT Bikini!
-------------------------

Ian: Guess what? We're all part animal. I'm part cheetah because I'm fast, and Riley is part bear because he is good at fishing and stuff. Mom, you're part mountain lion.

Me: I am? How do you figure that?

Ian: because of your arms. Let me see your fur. (pulls my sleave up). Yep, you're a mountain lion because your fur is so light and you're not crazy. You take good care of your kids and stuff like a mountain lion does.