I will call on Him...

"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." Psalm 116:1-2

Sometimes, in the depth of pain and confusion, there is only One Who can soothe - One Who really understands, One Who can reach the depths of my heart and make sense of the rubble. It is the One Who designed my heart in the first place. He knows where everything should go. He knows what order things need to be on the shelves. He knows what needs repaired, what needs tossed, what needs soothed, what needs hammered into shape. Friends try. They want to understand every part of you. They want to help. They want to encourage - and often do. But sometimes there are parts of your heart that can only be poured out to One.

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:7

He is the one who can put a soul at rest, the One Who the woman desparate to be filled with that precious inner beauty can trust to still when she cannot still herself.

This has been one such week when I have needed to fall into the arms of the "stiller" of my soul. Bill did not pass his playing tests. Honestly, it was a shot in the dark with his leg being in the condition it was. But with childlike faith, I trusted God to show his power in Bill's weakness. I know God has other plans, and it will all work out, and all that jazz...but for 24 hours or so, I needed to plunge deeply into the truth of what God says about Himself. Because my feelings said it was all pointless.

Bill was tired by the 12th hole of the first round. During the second round, he rolled his ankle and was really grinning and bearing it for the rest of the time. It isn't the end of the world, but does end some hopes for this season. His leg needs to heal.

Today the results of the MRI confirmed a cyst in Bill's knee joint. He has now been referred to an orthopedic surgeon to get things squared away. He has lost some muscle mass, so we will be looking at some healing and therapy time.

When I sat down last night and opened my spiral verse book, I was reminded of the verse God gave me on Sunday:

"For the Word of the Lord is true; He is faithful in all He does." Psalm 33:4

We can trust that God is faithful, even when He doesn't make sense.

"O my Strength, I watch for you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God."

We can trust that God is still strong and loving in all He does, even when He doesn't answer our way.

"I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me." Psalm 57:2

We can trust that God will fulfill His purposes for us, even when we think our best options have failed.

Those are all verses God has given me in the last week, written one by one, day by day in my little spiral notebook. What benefit and joy there is to daily seeking Him.

...and then this morning, after a couple of days of recounting the repeated dissappointments of the last couple of years - wondering when we'll ever get a break.

"For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance." Psalm 66:10-12

The writer does something here, that I am too weak to do. He praises God first. It is obedience. It is right. It is what our God deserves. For me, I have to read verses 10-12 before I can wholeheartedly claim verses 8-9.

"Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping." Psalm 66:8-9

He has. Oh, He has! Someday, I'll learn to praise Him first!