Wow! Where does the time go? Seriously?! The last couple of weeks have been a total whirlwind, but it's been fun.

Two weekends ago, I was asked to speak at a women's event at another church on the topic of biblical fellowship. It was a growing opportunity for me in many ways. I always love to speak, but it seems the Lord always decides that for some odd reason, He wants me to experience personal growth that week in the topic of which I speak! It was emotional, as I worked through the feelings of loss of some past relationships - whether it be from moving, life changes, or hurtful experiences.

The rest of the day was an experience I will always look back on and laugh. Bill was in a tournament that day, so I got up and got all the boys ready as usual. Jonathan and Michelle were going to watch them for me. I needed to pick up Taylor's dog and bring her to J&M's with the boys because someone was coming to look at the house. So when I got to mom and dad's, Griffin (said dog) was running around the street. I opened the van door, and she jumped in. Withing five seconds, all the boys were yelling. Griffin stank! She had been rolling in poop! Yes, poop! It was all over her and she was happily jumping everywhere. I was thinking, "Great! I have to get her to J&M's w/o getting myself coated in poop before I go speak at this women's event." God was gracious. He spared me. The boys weren't quite so lucky. Michelle met me in the driveway, though, with two cans of air freshener to spray the van down.

Last weekend was our MOPS leadership retreat. It was fabulous! I can't even believe the incredible team of women God has put together for next year. We had an amazing time bonding through prayer, sharing our lives, planning, and reflecting. It was also exhausting! Most of the week before was spent planning and working on the retreat, then the retreat, then Sunday spent recovering from the retreat!

Bill won a one month pass to a localy gym at the golf tournament, and he gave it to me!! I have been enjoying water aerobics with Michelle, some weight machines, and cycling. It really motivates me to go out and exercise. It amazes me how much of that part of my life I let go when we started a family. I've really been thinking alot about what all I've let go of since I became a mom and why. Was it true service to my family? Or martyr complex? Was it benefical to anyone that I let those things go and felt horrible about myself? Or would everyone have been better off if I'd not? I often think that somehow Angela traded herself in for "mom" instead of Angela becoming a mother...like I replaced myself instead of embracing a new part of me. If that makes any sense.

Clayton left for camp yesterday. The boys all got sad again when he was leaving, but no major tears this time. I'm sure he is having a great time, though the weather is a bit cooler right now. After we dropped him off, we met friends at Mc D's for ice cream and a little playland time. That is something I wish I would have had a camera for! Then to the dollar store for the boys to spend their dollars.

Today, Riley and Ian had the opportunity to participate in a Junior Golf Clinic at Bill's course, while Hayden got to play with Noah and Matthew (an unexpected treat since he was too young to golf and feeling left out - thank you Dawn!). It was really fun to watch. After we got out there, Bill was asked to help a little. It was really fun for me to watch him work with the kids, and just be out on the course. Then I got to just sit and watch Bill hit some balls. It is fun to watch him work. I can see why he loves it so much, though I still have never played a round in my life.

After the golf clinic, we went to visit friends and were told we were staying for dinner. Thank you Jeff and Kim! It was fun to watch five of our boys (out of our seven) sword fight and tumble in the grass while we sat in the sun and visited.

I have to say that I have had to process feelings of guilt for just enjoying life so much lately. It is nice to be able to spend time with friends, go to the gym, work Bill and I's schedule so I can run errands alone or just have one on one time with one of the kids. I had to ask myself, "Is it wrong to be having so much fun?" It just made me realize how hard life has been for so many years that I feel guilty for having a fun day - or even a week that I don't think I'm going to lose my mind because there is just no give. All I can say is that I'm enjoying it immensely for now, in case it doesn't last!