My take on Jennifer Knapp

Last week, a past Christian artist came out of the closet. I found out about it today, and have been very sick to my stomach over it. I guess she was on Larry King Live last night. I didn't see it.

Today, I read through this interview/article on Christianity Today so I could understand what the rumors were about.

My ramblings might not make much sense unless you read the article. But this is where my heart is:

Should the Christian community give grace to someone who is struggling with their sexuality? Absolutely! Just like we should give grace to someone struggling with alcoholism or having a good work ethic. But giving grace isn't the same thing as ignoring it or giving it a stamp of approval. Grace means to be patient and forgiving with someone while they work through their struggles. It means to love them through it, help them through it, and hold them accountable.

Can a Christian find a place where they can just be who they are and be okay with God? What we hear from Jennifer Knapp is that she is trying to do just that. Unfortunately, what we don't hear from her is that she is willing to do whatever God wants her to do to be right with him. She is looking for an internal place of peace in the midst of her sin. Unfortunately that place doesn't exist and it never will.

If I had the opportunity to talk to her, I would want her to know that God loves her, even in her sin. He loves her so completely and immensely. She doesn't need to try to earn his favor as a person. However, He also loves her so much that He would go to any length to bring her out of her struggle if she was willing to take the risk and trust Him with it.

Jennifer is releasing a new album on May 11. It isn't a Christian album, and is not intended to be marketed by Christian venues or played on Christian radio. The lyrics contain some four letter words, and the message will be more about being who you want to be than being who Christ wants you to be. That is her new message of freedom.

Sigh. How much bondage is in that "freedom."

Sometimes I'm amazed at how often this is beginning to happen. A dear friend and past spiritual mentor of mine came out of the closet this year as well. Obviously because it was someone who had such a great spiritual impact on me, it was a much bigger punch in the gut.

What makes me sad isn't so much the struggle. I have my own struggles, and I hurt those who love me with them. I hurt God's heart too. We all struggle. We all sin.

What hurts me is the throwing away the passion for Christ, the whole-hearted pursuit of Him. In my struggles, I plead for God's strength and deliverance. I can rest assured in God's love for me no matter what I struggle with and no matter my behavior. But if I love Him....if I'm going to return the affections...then it will always be my goal to honor Him with my life - no matter how big the struggle....no matter how hard it is.

I cannot lay down and say, "Well, life is just going to be a struggle for me. I think I'll go hide somewhere with others that share my struggle so we can all just give in together." No! I have to seek accountability. I have to daily die to my desires.

God didn't create us, so He could just watch us be happy. This life truly is just a dress rehearsal for eternity. Our struggles will be worth it in heaven. We can live just one day at a time, dying to our sinful desires and plug on, knowing that one day the struggle will be gone.

Oh, how I pray that for myself. I pray it for Jennifer, and for my friend, and for others who have thrown in the towel just trying to numb their consciences and move on with their life trying to be "okay" with God but missing completely out on the abundant life that comes from being "right" with God.